When Porn is Kinda Like What Crack did to Pookie in “New Jack”

I quit porn for like, the millionth time today. I hit rock bottom. I know I did because I found myself pulling my meat to some German guy nicknamed The White Pony. It can’t get any worse than that. I think I was chanting something like, “Put it in her throat!” but I can’t be sure.  It was actually my second time today busting a nut to porn and more interestingly, or, sadly, the first time had come only moments before. Great stamina for a man of 47 I could say to take consolation. Why no in-house pussy for a man of 47? I could ask to be real. No wife? No girlfriend? Nigga, you’re 47!

My first nut of the day had been built up over time. I’d, of course, quit porn just a couple days ago and was walking around congratulating myself like I always do when I quit porn, but this morning the itch had returned. Something made me Google “Having a big dick”, like, sure, it was my own big dick I was interested in.  Needless to say, I ended up on some blog where so white dude actually did have a big, beautiful cock. He had several pictures of it. Most of them clothed. Of few of them exposed. This got me excited. I don’t know how, but next thing I knew, I was checking out Annika Albrite. Her ass is crazy.  One thing led to another, and after a brief detour by Ryan Smiles, I ended up stuck on Charlie Sweets. Of course, I didn’t know I was stuck on Charlie Sweets. I couldn’t remember her name. I knew she was big on Worldstar and was even featured a few places on xvideos, but for the life of me, I couldn’t remember who she was.

I decided that I had tempted fate as closely as I needed to for anybody battling a porn addiction and it would be best for me to quit while I was ahead. So, suspended from my job as a Real Estate agent as I am, and facing eviction with no cable in house as I also am, I headed off to the library. I convinced myself that I was going to answer emails and send out resumes. I ended up answering emails and getting my ass kicked repeatedly in online chess. I also wanted to see Almost Famous. You ever get that way about a movie where you just wanna see it? Well, that’s how I was about Almost Famous.  Of course, the library wifi had some prohibitive block on streaming so I couldn’t get Almost Famous on my iPad. Shit, I couldn’t even get Annie Hall. The best I could have done, I discovered, was watched another Ali fight on Youtube to try to get myself inspired.  But that wasn’t gonna work either. I’d already seen Ali-Foreman three times, Clay-Liston 1 once, Ali-Frazier II once, the Thriller in Manilla once. Shit, I’d even watched Ali-Frazier I once just to see how not to lose. I was going to hafta go home. My dick was throbbing to be played with.

Long story short, I ended up with Bunz4ever doubled over while Rico Strong licked her ass. bunzShe looked incredible from/in that position, fake booty or not. So I decided to go ahead and shoot. But one of the self-imposed conditions that made my porn addiction almost tolerable was that I couldn’t actually shoot to porn. So I whipped out the iPad and flipped through to my favorite pic of me doggy-styling my ex-girlfriend. It is, actually, my favorite picture. I got the kinda denial high from actually shooting to the picture of my ex-girl that weedheads trying to quit get from taking bong hits instead of taking a blunt to the face. It was the same shit, I knew it. Moments later, I was looking at the White Pony’s cock and jerking.

And I know about addiction, I know, you know, that Miles Davis was a heroin addict and I know most or at least many great, good, decent and even average people are hooked on something.

I remember this dark-skinned cigarette smoker – pretty girl, too – who used to talk about weedheads like they all should be lined up and shot. This, with the cancer stick literally dribbling out of her mouth.  She did this because I’m pretty sure that she could sense that I was, at the time, a weedhead. This would be her one-up should she ever have to literally deny me the pussy. I was such a faggot then that I couldn’t even call her on her shit. “Bitch, you’re smoking a cigarette,” said in the right tone and then storming off to follow might have even actually got me the pussy. Nodding along, as I did, like she was preaching the gospel, damn sure didn’t.

About the Author

dickiebhee

Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town.
Also: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01E7NYMP4

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