Coffee, the Hipster, the Chink and The Nigger

The Nigger sat engaged in his book. He was really getting into this, really digging The Incredible Lightness of Being. He had that old feeling back, the one he’d wanted. The feeling that, when reading something new, a new world was opening. A new world of possibility. The Nigger had been hating himself for so long that it had affected his reading. Everything had sucked for a while. That, or it was a threat. The Nigger was a writer and a writer at odds with himself is especially at odds with the written word and everyone else that produces it.

Meanwhile, a writer at peace with him or herself loves all new words and all new or yet unread writers. And if it may be said that writers are competitive, then a writer at peace with himself happily welcomes new competition, as Jordan must have smiled at the emergence of Grant Hill and Penny Hardaway and Ali must have nodded welcomes to George Foreman and Ken Norton, thinking all the while, “Let’s see what you’ve got, but more importantly, let’s see what I’ve really got!”

Then it happened.

Now, The Nigger had been dimly aware of what was going on. He was on the [L] train headed into Brooklyn, having transferred at Union Square from the [4] train, which he had taken from the Bronx. And despite his vow to himself to ‘Stay in Your Book’ and not allow things like homeless beggars, subway performers and big booties to distract him, it would have been nearly impossible to board a train without at least a cursory glance around.

So when he heard the sound of the cup hitting the subway seat, The Nigger knew two things immediately; the cup had been nearly full, and he, The Nigger, should probably look up.

The Nigger noticed the Hipster scrambling. It had been coffee that had spilled on the seat. And in the rush to gather his belongings, the Hipster also made a token effort to stem the flow of the coffee, taking a swipe at the liquid with a plastic-wrapped pastry. Needless to say, this did little good. And though there was a gap between the subway seating which caused a good amount of the coffee to fall between that gap and begin to drip onto the floor, enough of the coffee had overrun the gap and was now starting to threaten a newspaper at the side of a Chink that sat nearby and unaware.

This was the moment of truth.

Now, there had been tiny little evidences that all may not have been exactly as it seemed. The Hipster, though clad in an obligatory hoodie and wearing super-tight jeans and an also obligatory nonconforming T-shirt (this one advertising Budweiser Beer), was also wearing Nike sneakers as opposed to the far more ironic Chuck Taylor Converse. The Chink, though entirely outfitted in nondescript unflattering clothes from head to toe and not only eating obviously home-prepared vittles on the train, but also eating from a home-brought storage containment plastic tub, had also been playing on her cell phone, which was, by stereotype at least, far more of a Japanese thing to do than a Chink thing. And The Nigger, despite being an obvious Nigger by appearance alone, had actually been reading a book! All this to say that there actually had been a possibility that something not-to-form would occur.

Then the Hipster abandoned his former seat for cleaner surroundings, The Nigger warned the Chink that there was a coffee spill headed her way, and the Chink looked wide-eyed from the Nigger who had shouted “Ma’am!” at her to the spill and abandoned her seat also.

Translation: the Hipster proved himself authentic by not even bothering to totally fix the mess he’d made, The Nigger proved himself authentic by feeling responsible for all messes everywhere and taking it upon himself to warn the Chink, and the Chink proved herself authentic not only by not thanking The Nigger for the warning, but also by walking off as if the Nigger had somehow been responsible for her being forced to move.

Normalcy prevailed.

About the Author

dickiebhee
Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town. Also: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01E7NYMP4

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