Black Women Are Only Good for One Thing

I’m so old-school that I can remember how my female elders reserved judgement whenever some new Black male star emerged. They needed to see his wife. Then they’d decide whether they liked him or not.

Similarly, I’ve argued at length and usually to people who didn’t necessarily agree with me that the only difference between Barack Obama being President, and him being maybe an also-ran Black politician like, say, a Harold Ford was Michelle Obama. Some would like to imagine that all of America is ready for a interracial couple as POTUS and First Lady but I still think there are two pretty large groups that don’t necessarily agree.

  1. White men
  2. Black women

Of course, interracial couples run both ways, the white male/Black female way being the less likely, but far more interesting. A lame but albeit existing excuse as to why so many Black dudes seem crazy about White women is that it’s payback for slavery when a White man could have whatever Black woman he wanted but Black men could be killed for so much as looking at a White women.

This argument dies because if these Black men really wanted payback, the last thing in the world they’d do would be marry the White women they were using as revenge. Marriage is a celebration. It’s a tribute. It’s the glorification of the highest honor you can bestow. If these Black men wanted payback for slavery, they’d be horrid toward White women; publicly. They’d parade them around on dog collars and share them with friends, but never dream of marrying them and producing their own legitimate airs.

But enough of all this. I’m going somewhere other than where I need to go here. Back to the point.

All of a sudden we’re now supposed to understand that Ben Fields, the white South Carolina police officer who slammed down a Black high school girl, then literally mopped the floor with her, has a Black girlfriend.

My reaction to this news was, “Well, of course he does!” So did Justin Volpe, the former NYPD officer convicted in 1999 of sticking a plunger up Haitian immigrant Abner Louima’s rectum.

A Black girlfriend is the ultimate proof that a white man can’t be racist. A Black wife might be too much. A Black wife might be proof of some mental instability. But a Black girlfriend is cool. A Black girlfriend is hip. A Black girlfriend suggest the kind of intimacy a Black male bowling buddy just can’t give you.

Mick Jagger had a Black girlfriend.

And what’s excrutiating is that we’re now about to watch some sad Black woman be trotted out, who was, in fact, likely no more than a one-time sex partner, and become Exhibit A before the world of the magnanimous ability to love undoubtedly felt in the heart of one Ben Fields.

Poor girl.

She’s probably going to be learning now and for the very first time in her life that Black women are only good for one thing: establishing the validity of someone else.

About the Author

Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town. Also:

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