The Top 10 Twerkers of the Modern Era

As you may know, I’ve given up porn. But since comparing twerking to porn is like comparing stripping to prostitution, my affinity for the former brand of ass enthusiasm lingered. But now that I’ve finally given up on even that wretched discipline, I’ve decided to compile the following.

*Ed note: these are all bitches that I’ve shot to. None of the women make it in based purely on artistic merit.

10. So Sexy Solei: Solei

Not really a twerker, more of a model. Now she’s a fitness coach that renamed herself Samantha Angelique. The worst part is, when she was bigger, and, I guess, by her standards, less fit, her ass was otherworldly.

9. Jhonni Blaze: Jhonni

Great smile. Working borderline porn with Woodnites Entertainment now. Would love to replace her with someone like, say, Sweet Lea Lea, but I can’t ever remember shooting to Lea Lea, whereas I remember clearly the mess Jhonni made me make at my computer one day.

8. Daddy’s Kitty/La Gatita: Kitty

On the smaller side. Had a nice cottage hustle going with subscriptions to watch her work/twerk. It was her perfect bubble bent forward on Worldstar one day that got me. Surprised me too.

7. Cubana Lust: Cubana

Never had a thing for Spanish girls, but maybe this one. Put on weight, working Woodnites. There’s this one shower scene she does that’s absolutely incredible.

6. Ayisha Cottontail: Ayisha

Again, more of a model than a twerker, this time for PerfectShots. Has a fan base that borders on religious-fanatic status. Vanished for a while but may have reappeared briefly. Think she’s pulling a Bettie Page.

5. The Only Hydro: Hydro

The Queen for the monster booty enthusiast. Rocks a tumbler site now. Put on way too much weight. Should run some. Still makes you stand at attention like a you’re in the presence of a superior officer, tho.

4. Lastarya: Lastarya

Could’t decide if she was ugly or beautiful but her ass was artwork. Her body looks different. Like maybe she had a baby. In her prime, her waist to ass ratio was something from a John Persons cartoon.

3. Virgo Peridot: Virgo

What? Surprised that the lone white girl is not Miley Cyrus? Should’t be. Virgo was mostly hips but had a nice ass. Went the way of porn. Predictably, the BBC kind. She did this gradual strip tease once while wearing a green outfit then twerked from all fours. Yes.

2. Lanipop: Lani

It almost seemed criminal that the rest of her body was so awkward when her ass was so perfect. It really was the best in the business. But she had a little belly and even smaller tits. She replaced the tits and now she’s working the Woodnites hustle. There’s a scene of her in this funny looking orange and yellow outfit that made me lose it one time while actually at work.

 1 .Mizz Twerksum: Twerksum

Who knows how old she was when she burst on the scene to in that “Stanky Leg” video. Of course, genuine pervs, of maybe the Jared from Subway variety, would prefer to think that she was younger than legal. Whatever the case, she moved that thing and it was a good thing. Also, the only twerker, aside from So Sexy Solei, never to have shown her whole naked ass on camera (to date), thus proving what Jimmy Fallon’s character in the Almost Famous director’s cut says about “mystique”.

About the Author


Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town.

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