Writing High

Bob Marley, being interviewed after the show at the Fox Theater (Photo by Tom Hill/WireImage)

The toilet I just cleaned was for a gigantic white-looking boy. Later on when we talked, I detected that he was something other or something more than just being white.

He was a kid, at least 6’4″ and he reeked of weed. It stained his coat like a color. He seemed nice and friendly.

He wasn’t staying in the apartment, he was actually moving out. He wanted me to clean up the remnants. Most of the work was done. All that was left was the dirty stuff.

The blunt in the toilet was like the glimpse of a burger for a fatso. I quickly scooped it up and set it to the side. The water beneath it had been brown. Could have been wrappings residue or could have been piss. I didn’t care.

The bunt itself could have been laying on top of a pile of shit. It could have been beneath shit. It could have been in shit. I’d been lucky that it was where it was.

During the cleaning, I’d stashed the blunt and re-stashed it till it had reached my coat pocket. I also pocketed a book of matches. It was my first time ever stealing from a client.

I’d cleaned quickly and well and while I’d been doing some routine reconnaissance in the kitchen, a huge bud attached itself to my fingertip – almost enough for a – I pocketed it. More cleaning, one more bud. This tall white-looking boy had an embarrassment of riches! I wouldn’t even need the Toilet Blunt at first.

It was time to wrap it up and get the fuck out of here.

Smoke this weed.

It had been nearly a year.

Weed is something a body never wants to just give up. Sometimes, you do need a break, tho.

I didn’t even expect a tip from the tall white-looking boy. I might have refused it if he’d offered.

My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations.” That’s the book of James. It’s not in context but my mom likes that one.

No rolling paper.

As a ‘fuck you’ to the squares, I found a traffic ticket that I’d been Nazi’d into paying. I broke up the weed on top of it, then rolled it up into a spliff, tearing it at the corners.

I know it’s evil to be smoking weed because it’s against the law. It must have been great to be a slave-owner back when that was legal. And again, I thought about becoming a real Christian if only for the fringe benefits.

And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed

–Genesis 1:11

And that’s only the is only the first time the Lord let’s us know what time it is.

And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind; and God saw that it was good.

That’s the very next verse.

So back up, Baby, I’m getting ready to get to the level I need to be on so that I can worship!

A friendly goodbye to the tall white-looking boy.

And now I’m high.

I’m sitting on the R train, headed to Manhattan only to take the N or the Q back to Queens.

I got another apartment to clean.

Still working on an excuse for the smell.

About the Author

dickiebhee
Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town. Also: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01E7NYMP4

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