Do Your Twitter Followers Have Your Back?

Rihanna attends the CFDA Fashion Awards on Monday, June 2, 2014 in New York. (Photo by Charles Sykes/Invision/AP)

I have the maybe unwise habit of following someone on Twitter whenever they comment on, like or retweet something of mine.

I figure we must be like-minded souls.

This has worked out with mixed results so far because, although some of the people I’ve ended up following were quite erudite, informed and worldly, others were simply psychotic, desperate, and in need of an audience.

Recently, I made the vague acquaintance of a young man that liked a liked a Richard Roundtree-from-Shaft gif that I’d created.


It was my 3rd time issuing that gif with no luck before. This time under the label “Ben Carson at the #Trumpisdisqualifiedparty”, was the charm.

Dude liked it and, I guess, two of his followers or two randoms did too.

One of of the randoms immediately revealed herself to be a lunatic. She posts constantly. Muscle-bound and white-girl fine, she expresses shit that I’m amazed even runs through anybody’s head.

Meanwhile, yesterday, the first dude to like my gif got into a little bit of a Twitter beef. Now, my guy has about 3000 followers, while the guy that he was beefing with, some 1/2 celebrity DJ, has about 15k.

And don’t get me wrong, even thought my guy was more than holding his own, I started to panic.

Did this, in any way, leave me exposed?

I started thinking; gee, the word “follower” is such a harsh word, wouldn’t “person who reads what’s written by but may or may not agree with”, be more accurate in most cases?

Because it’s always the armies that killed in a war, almost never the leaders. And if this fool that I was following marched me and the other 2999 of his troops off to war against a man with 15K, what would it matter of right was on our side?

It took them over 2000 years to make the movie 300. You think I’m gonna hang around till 4015 just to see my story get told.

And there’s no Twitter Switzerland, or, I’m guessing the case would be Twitzerland. You have to pick a side.

You’re either with Miley or with a Nicki, with Meek or with Drake, with Wale… nah, you’re not with Wale.

On Twitter, as with, I guess, anywhere else, if you don’t have the numbers you usually don’t want the trouble. You usually abide and play your role and claim your space. Gradually, you build up and become stronger but until then, you keep it sane, maybe a little quirky, original and most importantly; funny.

If you have to beef, your best bet would probably be going at somebody with either half your wit or half your followers. And go as Alexander the Great once went, leading his armies from the front, don’t follow from behind like Napoleon, his hand in either in his vest in to prove his breeding or both hands behind his back in contemplation.

Then again, maybe there’s a certain strategy in all this Twitter beefing. I remember about 6 years ago after the whole Chris Brown-Rihanna incident, some chubby unknown make a name for herself by getting a shot that she took a Rihanna responded to by the Barbadian goddess herself.

This even landed the chubby unknown a slew of new followers.

Making her ready, I guess, for more war.


About the Author


Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town.

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