Paying the Cos to be the Boss


Nigga, first of all, you shouldn’t have been cheating on your wife – which is something you’ve admitted to, allegations be damned.

I’ll bet you expected her to honor those vows and now that you’ve disgraced her before the whole world, it would only be fair play if, say, while y’all were all in Philadelphia, she was taking it from The Doctor.

Or if, say, maybe one of them kids ain’t yours.

Camille was never a bad looking woman and Lord forbid that even at her advanced age, she should come to me now for some marital advice.

Or a shoulder to cry on.

Or a cock to deep-throat.

I’m here to help.

As far as the rape allegations are concerned, quite simply, I wouldn’t wanna be you.

While the American patriarchy has gone out its way to put the onus on the victim to actually prove rape, anybody living in the real world knows that there’s a least three different, all distinct and all vile, ways that you  can rape a woman.

You can be the:

1. Unknown assailant – which has gotta be the most terrifying and anybody who pulls this gruesome shit should definitely be castrated and subsequently chopped into pieces.
2. Date raper – maybe not as scary but just as vile and still worthy castration.
3. Post-coital raper – which is shaming a woman after borderline consensual sex, worthy of jail time and what, I think, Mike Tyson was guilty of.

But Cos, you were on some other shit.

Knockout drops; WTF, are you some kind of medieval mad scientist?

Why didn’t you just buy a blow-up doll if you wanted to fuck something that gave you no response?

Why violate the heads and bodies of young women that came to you; vulnerable because most of them were aspiring towards something and unable to separate the myth of Phil Huxtable from the reality of a horny geezer in a multi-colored sweater?

Never mind that, as I’ve mentioned before, any time some non-minister turns to preaching or takes up some sort of perceived moral authority, it’s usually just to mask crimes or indescretions far greater than those he’s preaching against.

So when you took young Black America to task for not pulling its pants up, Jesus himself would have called you a “physician” and tossed you a stethoscope.

Oh, I don’t know what it’s like to have so many young girls throwing themselves at me, huh?

You’re right about that, but I promise you this: I can catch. And if there were that many throwing themselves it would never even occur to me to grab an inert one and slip her knockout drops.

Best of luck, man.

For the damage you’ve done it would be generous of me to say that the humiliation you’ve already suffered should be punishment enough, but who knows the depths of the pain suffered by each of your accusers?

Imagine being raped, man: in jail, by some dude.

Nobody to turn to, nobody who believes you, and the people who know it and know it as fact, all find it funny.

You know the original definition for the word “pathetic” is an older man who gets fucked in the ass by a younger man.

Just something to think about.

About the Author

Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town. Also:

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