The One White Party You DO Wanna Miss


Thank God white people got them some exclusive shit. Now they can leave us the fuck alone about BET.

And I, for one, am all for the idea of white love. Somebody’s gotta have them muhfuccas.

The one thing most niggas don’t understand is when good white folks look like they’re “discriminating” against us, what they’re really doing is protecting us from some shit.

They know it’s some shit that we’re not prepared to handle.

Take Major League Baseball: white folks wouldn’t let us play that until 1947, and in all the time since, has there been even one Black player worth a damn?

I mean that, like, set some records or some shit?

And don’t give me Barry Bonds, he was on aspirin or some other shit.

Hank Aaron?

Yeah, he was good. He had a couple records too, didn’t he?

But was it worth it; fucking up the Negro Leagues like that?

Fuck it, next topic.

Some muhfuccas are up in arms cause out in Utah, they got this dating site called They think, I guess, niggas should be allowed to meet white people too. They don’t consider, I guess, that the only reason a nigga might move to Utah, aside for playing for the Jazz, is cause all he wanted to do was meet white people.

People are also mad because even though this site offers a dating option for married people, gays are excluded.

That means, of course, if you’re Black and gay, you’re all messed up. I woulda said all “fucked” up, but you ain’t getting fucked, not on that site, no.

And like I said, to me, that’s some good shit.

I’m tired of being sexualized by white hoes and I know some of you niggas are too. And you bitches, after you’ve had your one or two or twenty tastes of vanilla, y’all start getting ready to come home as well.

And that’s all they’re doing.

When you think about it, segregation had its perks; I mean, Black businesses were booming, and with no little white kids to be compared negatively against, being smart wasn’t considered “acting white.”

Respect due, but it wouldn’t have been me at no lunch counter demanding to be served.

If my money was the same as some white man’s and I still had to order from the back, my money could stay in my muhfuccin pocket. I could go home and cook me an omelet, shiii…

Start my own diner.

Now that we’ve got so called “integration”, there’s almost no Black businesses and niggas can’t get jobs working for white ones.

A healthy mix would be nice, you know, when it’s mutually beneficial.

Ah, but what do I know?

I don’t wanna meet no white people and I’m shocked that as boring as they are, they’d wanna meet each other.

If we’re gonna complain about some shit, lets complain about a time when, all things being equal, a nigga got ripped off.

Like Larenz Tate not even being Oscar nominated for Menace II Society.

Now that was some bullshit.

About the Author


Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town.

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