Da Fuck is an “Anti-Government” Patriot?

my man

It never surprises me that when certain white people get guns, they decide that they can make up their own laws and start behaving however the fuck they want, running wild and acting crazy and all kindsa shit.

That is, after all, how our great nation was born.

Muhfuccas did not wanna pay taxes, so the sentiment became, “Fuck the crown, let’s start our own shit.”

Get everybody to sign this shit we’ll call the Declaration of Independence, call ourselves revolutionaries, and call our new shit the United States of America.

And it’s a good thing them muhfuccas won too cause they’d be using a whole other word to describe that shit if they had lost: treason.

Of  course, if some niggas did that shit, they’d be nothing more than tax cheats, but niggas don’t factor into the narrative of that time other than being, what was then considered “domestic foes”.

Always on some insurrection shit, Black people. Couldn’t even be grateful for slavery.

But when Cliven Bundy‘s boy Ryan and a couple of his brothers decided to, uh, “protest” the conviction of Dwight and Steve Hammond, a father-son duo of ranchers that set fire to a whole gang of shit, it became a Mexican standoff with only Angel Eyes and Tuco, no Blondie.

Ryan promised to “kill or be killed if necessary” knowing that no more is necessary than for him to say that.

Shit, he and his fuckboy buddies could start working on an extension wing to the Malhuer National Wildlife Refuge before the government would take the life of any white man, for whatever the fuck he’s doing.

Woulda been interesting to see if they had run up on Adam Lanza before that fool got a chance to off himself. Wish cameras were there; bodies of dead children all around him, the police talking to him like a baby, tryna calm him down and shit.

Meanwhile, if some nigga walked by blowing bubblegum bubbles, he’d get murdered in the street and the court system would be quick to point out that they could understand how a cop might have felt “threatened” by the sound of all that popping.

But wait, I’m going way left with this.

I’m letting my personal biases get in the way of my bad writing.

My only real point – if I’ve even got one of those – is that some nutso muhfuccas are actually out there in cyberspace calling these armed dickwads “patriots”.

I’m like…

The Bundy boys have said themselves that they’re anti-government. How the fuck can you be an anti-government “patriot”?

That’s like being a Knicks fan wearing Jordans or some stupid shit. Like being a racist nigga married to a white woman…


Those are two scenarios that actually do occur and quite frequently too for that matter so maybe they ain’t the best analogies.

My thinking is that since so many of my white brethren think Barack Onama’s some sort of rogue usurper of the American throne, any anti-government stance is actually patriotic.

If that’s the case, fuck it, I’m bout to rob the Federal Reserve!

Or do I gotta be white first?

About the Author


Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town.
Also: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01E7NYMP4

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