Boot Licking Uncle Toms and Such


I always love it when some nigga leaps up to condemn another Black person for doing some shit that he’d praise a white person for doing.

That takes real forethought.

This nigga knows that ultimately, if he allowed the Black person he’s attacking to rock, he might himself get nothing outta the deal and what the fuck good is that?

Meanwhile, if he promotes the interest of the white party, shiii… nigga might get a couple of dollars or even, possibly, a pat on the head!

They say the nigga that gave the Chicago police the layout to Fred Hampton‘s apartment so they could come in and shoot him to death in his bed got paid a whopping $25.

That was good money in them days.

So when I read about how this African chieftain nigga Jean Burgess was attacking Beyonce for venturing to bring the life of Saartjie Baartman to the screen in some sorta way – which I’m now hearing was only a rumor to begin with – I knew this nigga had his hand out but I was hoping Beyonce didn’t pay him shit, not even no mind.

Baartman, if you don’t regularly read my blog and you ain’t up on all the knowledge I be droppin and shit – in other words, we covered her already – was the big booty beauty that them fucking horny, disgusting degenerate perverts up in Europe exhibited as some sort of freak show just because her booty was so big and beautiful.

It’s a sad story.

They say the girl had real talent too. I mean aside from dat ass, she allegedly could speak about 16-20 languages, play instruments, sing and dance.

Died at 25.

I know what you’re thinking: and niggas didn’t want Beyonce to play her?

Well, our heroine was only 4’7″ and she was probably a little browner of skin than Beyonce, but shit, if B was gonna dress up in the costume that they say they made our girl Saartjie wear, I’d have brought a date and a tub of Vaseline, gone to the flick and been like, “Of course this hard dick is all about you baby! Now shut the fuck up, keep strokin, and lemmie watch the muhfuccin movie!”

But our boot lickers didn’t wanna hear that shit. They’re almost preternaturally inclined to kiss white ass.

I remember Achebe’s character in Things Fall Apart, the son that Okonkwo couldn’t get motivated and how he became a beast in defense of the white man.

Some niggas are just like that.

Quiet as kept, that’s what Charlie Manson was counting on.

Meanwhile, if, say, Taylor Swift decides to play our same Black big booty goddess, this exact nigga can be counted on to be smiling and nodding, saying how ‘proud’ he is to have ‘our’ stories told and how ‘interesting’ it will be to see Swift ‘rise to the challenge’ of playing a character that would certainly, for her, be a ‘stretch’.

And Swift will nod back at his Black ass and, out of earshot, tell her handlers to have him jailed.

Cause she’ll know like we know that niggas like that are always after something.

I mean, in a perfect world, they’d be after integrity.

But exactly what the fuck on this earth has that ever got anybody?

About the Author


Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town.

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