If Beyonce Don’t Play Saartjie Y’all Trippin

NEW YORK, NY - MAY 04: (EDITORS NOTE: Image has been digitally altered.) Beyonce attends the "China: Through The Looking Glass" Costume Institute Benefit Gala at the Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 4, 2015 in New York City. (Photo by Larry Busacca/Getty Images)

Just cause some shit outrages you doesn’t mean that you ever get used to it. Nor does it mean you should.

So yeah, a nigga’s used to ridiculous bullshit like Elizabeth Taylor playing Cleopatra, Charlton Heston as Moses, and any blue-eyed muhfucca they can find playing Jesus, but that shit always made my stomach turn; it always – pardon the pun – colored the overall story in a negative way.

And it’s not just the biblical muhfuccas or the prehistoric niggas that get ripped off from us when it comes to some sorta onscreen adaptation or depiction.

No, a very man recently played writer Aleaxdre Dumas and Angelina Jolie herself recently played the fully 1/2 Black Mariane Pearl.

So yeah, I’m concerned that now that a groundswell movement has finally awakened niggas to the fact that a movie about Saartjie Baartman is more than warranted, it’s absolutely necessary, that some of y’all would be openly antagonistic to the idea of Beyonce playing her.

This, to me, is the height of the bullshit.

Who better to play a woman on stage constantly, a target of those with a booty fetish, poked and prodded and lusted after every night till it finally drove her over the brink and into madness?

Who else knows exactly what that’s like?

And for a change, I’m not coming for my niggas. We’re so dumb we’ll just go along with anything.

Beyonce? Yeah, good, whatever. A movie? Yeah, right; lets see it.

This time I’m coming for the bitches. Black bitches especially.

You muhfuccin haters.

When I first leaned Beyonce even had an interest in playing Saartjie it was  because of some negative shit some Black bitch on Twitter wrote denouncing the idea.

I hit her to get a reason for her hate, but she never hit me back.

And of course, I’m not talking to all y’all; some of y’all don’t necessarily see Beyonce as a rival and respect her for her talent and her craft.

I’m talking about Black bitches like my ex, who woulda bit off a chunk of Beyonce’s neck if she was ever within three feet of the bitch.

I mean, here’s a chance for some superlative Black female unity; get Ava to direct, Beyonce to star, bring out Pam Grier, Judy Pace, Diahann Carroll, Gabrielle Union, Kerry Washington, Gabourey Sidibe

We’ll pack the box office, go to the Oscars with guns just to let muhfuccas know we’re serious.

I, for one, am tired of having it decided for me who I’m supposed to admire and how I should admire them. Therefore, white depictions of Black people have almost always left me cold.

I remember reading a biography on Paul Robeson some years back, written by a white writer of course, and though the book went into great detail about Robeson’s many substantial relationships with white luminaries, there was exactly one sentence in the whole shit about how Bumpy Johnson had to save Paul’s ass one night in Manhattan.

I was like, Paul Robeson knew Bumpy Johnson? Where’s more detail on that?

So you hoes need to put away the hate.

And I’m only now gonna mention the Star Quality Beyonce brings to any project she’s attached to, making this flick an absolute must see versus giving the role to, say, superstar twerker The Only Hydro who’s more physically right for the part but has no acting experience of note.

Bitches: Beyonce’s a Black wife, Black mother and Black woman.

She’s just like y’all so there’s no reason to hate her.

Unless, of course, you fuckin hate yourselves.

About the Author

Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town. Also: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01E7NYMP4

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