Our Buddies, Our Slaves


We shoulda just killed them all back during one of the multitude of slave revolts we held for the chance to declare our own personal Emancipation Proclimation.

Then at least we wouldn’t have to listen to all the bullshit they try to pump into us like tryna get us grateful to them for being free – like they came and rescued us from some foreign power and it wasn’t they, themselves that we were being freed from – or that, on some level, slavery wasn’t that bad.

Now, of those two bullshit notions, the second one has the most traction.

Of course slavery wasn’t that bad. I mean, it wasn’t wake up to a whipping then get ass-fucked, your throat slit, before heading out to the cotton fields. But it want too much better than that either.

The truth is, a delicate balance had to be maintained, because if it had been too much worse, the institution itself would have been untenable.

Niggas either woulda washed themselves into the sea wholesale like so many of them had, or niggas woulda straight up pulled a Haiti, which is what I was thinking when I started writing this.

I mean, we had our chances – and we took em too.

250 slave rebellions involving 10 more slaves meant, despite all the propaganda to the contrary, niggas wasn’t happy.

But if we had pulled it off, and I’ve considered many times all the ways that we would have and actually could have, chances are the result would have been exactly like the Island of Hispaniola; one half the continent rich, the other half poor as shit.

And don’t think for a second we coulda beseeched any other nations for trading or aid.

Before the earthquake, how’d that work out for Haiti?

Muhfuccas froze them out on an international level precisely for having the temerity to hand Napoleon his very first L.

Hilarious how they don’t mention that shit either too, right?

Treat that shit like a pre-season game.

But the effort to rebrand the institution like it was some kinda dress up kids game played by willing participants on both sides is nothing short of vulgar.

Taking the “Nigger” out of Huck Finn and this new children’s book which features, unsurprisingly, a depiction of George Washington getting chummy with a couple of Negroes I’m sure that I’m expected to believe were his highly salaried employees, only hits a new low if you’re unfamiliar with the old IQ trick postulation that a dog can only run halfway into a forest because after that he starts running out.

That’s right, muhfuccas is going for high culture now with this bullshit.

But let’s get back to my original point: yeah, it would have sucked to have known that a lot of good, decent, upstanding and beautiful white people got killed as collateral damage in the effort it took to get us us free.

But shit, they ain’t just take our villains when they captured us in Africa.

And if I had a choice between 1/2 starving in an all-Black land and living as a chubby 2nd class citizen in this one, which would I choose?

Which did Milton choose?


About the Author

Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town. Also: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01E7NYMP4

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