Niggas Invented the Internet and Other Strange Facts


Too many white people are quick to reclaim a nigga if he does something of value. If he contributes to or is just outstanding or exceptional in some shit.

Niggas’ll be poised to embrace the nigga, and white people will rush in being like, “Hold on! He’s one of ours!”

And even though it helps if a nigga is biracial or beyond but still what would be considered in America “legally” Black (one great-grandparent), white people will take a nigga from you that don’t have no white in him.

Like I wrote before, I once watched a documentary that had the nerve to mention Jimi Hendrix‘s “white side”.

I was like, “Shiii, they might as well talk about Miles Davis‘ white side next!”

But it’s not even like this is a recent precedent, this is a historical fuckin tendency.

Muhfuccas used to describe all of Africa as the “Dark Continent” till one day some nigga was fuckin around, playing with the globe, raised his hand and said, “Say teach…? Didn’t you say Egypt was in the Middle East?”

To which another nigga chimed in “Bitch told me it was in the Orient!”

Now, niggas is only supposed to consider “sub-Saharan” Africa as the Motherland as if we can’t tell from looking at hieroglyphics what complexion ancient Egyptians had and therefore can’t imagine what Jesus and all the other Children of Israel must have looked like cause they all, at one time or another, lived there, and therefore can’t postulate what neighboring Carthaginians must have looked like.

Well, we can.

And a crazy ass nigga might even take it a step further and claim that since Carthaginians conquered both Spain and most of Italy, and since the Roman Empire extended its influence by building roads throughout Western Asia, that niggas was really the ones responsible for civilizing all of Europe.

Wouldn’t be any wilder than some of the theories I’ve heard to the contrary.

Anyway, the first guy to ever surf the web, Tim Berners-Lee, looks white as shit. His moms even looks biracial, but you can tell she’s Black.

I don’t give a fuck what he identifies as. Wouldn’t ask him. Shit like that puts some people on the spot.

Look at Vin Diesel.

The point it is my unfortunate duty to make is that because of Mr. Berners-Lee’s outstanding contribution to the world of science, you’ll never hear that nigga described as, well…

And the funny shit is, if you to argue with a racist about the shit – and you might have to, they’ll argue with you about if Hawaii is actually on this planet since President Obama was born there – they’ll suggest that all that other “white” in Mr. Berners-Lee outweighs any of his Blackness.

Moreover, they’ll argue that it’s his whiteness that is solely responsible for his genius.

Now, ignoring our understanding that if he was a car their looking the exact same way, he’d right off be described as a light-skinned Black man.

And let’s say Mr. Berners-Lee is only a quarter-Black; the muhfucckin issue I have in believing that 3/4th’s of whiteness makes any nigga a genius is that there’s muhfuccas that’s a full 4/4th’s white that’s dumb as shit.

So, no white America: as far as Tim Berners-Lee goes, I’l think we’ll keep him.

Even if we gotta take him hostage.

About the Author

Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town. Also:

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