Miss Me With Fake-Ass Black-on-Black Crime “Statistics”

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Mark Twain gets credited with the quote, “There are lies, there are damn lies and then there are statistics” and that’s what I think about any time I read a letter that appears somewhere written by what I can see in my head to be some little old white lady residing in East Buttfuck Suburban, America and complaining about Black-on-Black Crime “statistics”.

And I know two things immediately:

1. She’s never been to Black neighborhood
2. If she has been to a Black neighborhood, she hasn’t used the fact that she somehow amazingly survived that traumatic ordeal as evidence that the dumb shit that she thought just might have been wrong.

As brilliant as white folks is, I’m often amazed that so many of them never realize that not only can numbers sometimes be outright lies, but they can also be manipulated to draw any kinda conclusion you want.

7 rings to 6 says Robert Horry was better than Michael Jordan, my nigga. Counter that argument.

But just like our old white lady has never been to Africa, but she knows all about the comtinent because of some bullshit she read somewhere, you can expect her to have some pretty pointed views about what should be done about all that “Black crime” despite the fact that her grandbabies are more than a million times more likely to be shot and killed by the next Adam Lanza, Dylan Klebold or Eric Harris than by some nigga somewhere in Decatur.

Speaking of which, as a nigga that’s lived in Atlanta, DC, and every borough of New York except Staten Island – always in The Hood – I can assure you that the reason that I’m alive to write this is not because I’m a thug.

I am quite the opposite.

I am, in fact, softer than the amount of physical contact it takes for LeBron to fall and flop on the floor like he just got electrocuted.

But even I know that a lot of the shit that gets labeled “Black-on-Black crime” is not only non-violent, but actually, in many cases, beneficial.

There’s:

1. Cash-for-merchandise exchanges with The Plug
2. OGs that still play the number
3. Buying stuff boosted from major department stores.

This dynamite $200 high-fashion coat that I’m wearing I got a couple years ago for $70 on the street.

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So eat a dick.

Besides, “crime” is too harsh a word for the little petty bullshit that niggas are allowed to get away with before we’re whisked off to feed the Prison Industrial Complex, ironically making more money for the people that complain about “Black-on-Black crime” the most.

And I’d be the last to deny that there are Black idiots that fuck up our neighborhoods by having guns and being bad shots, being criminally negligent or being just outright stupid.

But I would defy anyone who’s not Black to tell me how this “Black-on-Black crime” affects them in their little hamlets and therefore why they claim to give a shit, or explain how things that would be criminal if Blacks committed them are suddenly what Richard Pryor jokingly called an “epidemic” when poor little white kids fall victim to the scourge.

Half a generation got 15 years mandatory in New York due to the Rockefeller Drug Laws for pushing or even trafficking in crack but now that teenage white America can’t get the heroin monkey off their backs, we’re all seeking alternative treatments that exclude imprisonment?

Donald Goines wrote a great book called White Man’s Justice, Black Man’s Grief, but if he’d changed the word “justice” to “bullshit” it’d have been even better.

About the Author

dickiebhee

Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town.
Also: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01E7NYMP4

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