Michael Jackson WAS White Until He Bought The Beatles Catalogue

young mike

Rumor has it that it all happened rather innocently.

Mike and his good friend Paul McCartney were talking about ways to make extra cash and Paul pulled his coat to the fact that there was always money in owning music catalogs.

So what did Mike do?

He turned around and bought the Beatles catalog, the Holy Grail of music catalogs, the most valuable in history and the group which his soon-to-be former friend Paul had been a full 1/4th.

Mike’s buying the catalog is what ended the friendship. It also, though he probably didn’t know it at the time, put Mike at the center of a bullseye.

In apartheid South Africa, they useta have this status called “honorary white” – a status that legendary Black singer and film star Eartha Kitt enjoyed – and you’d be misinformed to imagine that just cause they ain’t have a label for it in America, there wasn’t a similar practice.

Therefore, just because you were born a nigga, if you could do something outstanding and almost always entertaining, made enough money and didn’t get too full of yourself, you could ascend to a rank that was comparable to, say, a lower-middle class white.

It helped if you married among your own kind (back in them days; now it’s the opposite) or projected asexual, didn’t embrace any outrageous personal or political positions and seemed content to simply keep on entertaining; read: didn’t make any power moves.

The classic Eddie Murphy joke that to me denotes the moment when Mike hit the absolute peak of his whiteness was when Eddie said that Mike could get away with taking Brooke Shields – then the pinnacle of virginal young white womanhood – to the Grammy’s and that if it had been him, Eddie, at the end of the night, Brooke would have got fucked.

Now, my own definition of a “Crazy Nigger” has always been an American born Black whose ultimate dream was not to become white.

Mike had his nose done several times, he kept hair relaxed, both of his marriages had been to white women, his kids, biological or not, we’re white fleshed and his own skin, vitiligo or not, was white: he wanted in.

Therefore, you can Michael Jackson whatever you want, but you can’t call him “crazy”.

He just had enough money to get closer to his dream than most “sane” niggas.

So when they came for him, as the white man he’d become, he was probably shocked. He’d done so much to make the transition.

And I’m not going to speculate as to whether he did or did not molest those boys, I could argue it either way and I think the only argument that could beat mine would be mine, but if nothing else is significant, the fact that due to resulting legal expenses, Mike’s sole ownership of the Beatles catalogue had to be gradually chipped away, the one thing Black America should have learned from the whole ordeal was that sanity gets you nowhere.

Now, some people are up in arms that a white man, Joseph Fiennes of Shakespeare in Love fame, is poised to play Mike in what I’m sure will be some unfunny spoof.

The problem is, the movie theorizes on a possible road trip from New York to LA shared by Mike, Liz Taylor, and Marlon Brando in the wake of 9/11.

Shiii, by 9/11 Mike had been Black again for about 16 years.

About the Author


Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town.
Also: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01E7NYMP4

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