When Somebody’s TOO Pro-Black, I Always Think…


Yeah, I’m fuccin’ coming for interracial relationships on this one.

I done gave y’all muhfuccas a pass long enough. It’s time to clown you.

I mean, what’s the point of getting into an interracial relationship if nobody ever says nothing?

It’s like coming outside naked and people just saying, “Hey! What’s up?”

Part of the reason, fuck it, the main reason you’re doing that funny-style shit is for a reaction.

Well, here it is: enjoy, nigga!

I remember some time back when talented Scrubs actor Donald Faison was on Jimmy Fallon (I think) and he just started going on and on about Black people.

“Black people don’t do…” this and “Black people don’t like…” that, and I remember thinking, aw shit. This nigga got a white girl.

Sure enough.

And the reason I knew this for a fact is because often, quite often, too often, when a nigga has a white girl or a Black bitch has a white man, they get used to couching their own individual issues into dysfunction that affects the whole race.

So lets say a nigga that has a white girlfriend can’t swim, he’ll tell her “Black people can’t swim.” And that’s how ideas like that get started.

As cute as that may seem, the problem with that bullshit is that if you come along, Black and managing waves on a Michael Phelps-level, the white bitch would argue that you’re not really Black because, unlike her boyfriend (who is really Black), you can swim.

But it’s not just funny shit like that, it’s also these “experts” on Blackness.

Them niggas never have a Black significant other at home.

First time I heard Skip Gates on television talking about his DNA research project, every third word out his mouth was “Black”.

Or maybe it was even more. He actually said some shit like, “My Blackness can only be Blackened by the Blackness of Black-Black.’

I was like, nigga: Stop.

And while I agree with Hov that you can’t knock the hustle, explaining it ain’t knocking it, is it Hov?

I mean, cause how could you not see that constantly being on some super pro-Black bullshit is just putting forward the only thing you’re bringing to the table?

And the only people that kinda shit might be effective on is people with absolutely no frame of reference.

Cause think about it: if you run up tryna explain blackness to somebody else’s that Black, they might just look at you like you’re crazy or, if they have a sense of humor, they might look at their own wrist or something then hold it up before your eyes so you can see it too.

I mean, two Black people can unite over a shared love for their people and during the course of their relationship work on what they think might be solutions to some of the issues that they feel effect us all, but the ability to hide behind skin color to dodge anything personal is some shit that’s strictly the provenance of them niggas that don’t necessarily have a “self” that’s worth representing.

And of course, I’m not talking bout all you niggas and bitches in interracial relationships.

But if anything I wrote hit home…

About the Author

Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town. Also: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01E7NYMP4

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