Now that Leo’s got his (and we can all relax) let’s take a look at not only some cumulative deserving winners, but a couple – and yeah, just two – that shoulda won because of singular performances that were just insane.
Don’t know how many times I hafta say this but I’ma say it till there’s no more breath within me, O Dog from Menace II Society is one of the three finest acting jobs I’ve ever seen in my life. Larenz wasn’t ever nearly as good in anything else.
Nominated for The Wrestler:
I remember him from his pretty boy days of Angel Heart, all the way up through that creepy Bullet bullshit he did with Tupac, but again, as far as singular performances, his “Marv” from Sin City was another of my three best.
Nominated for Magnolia, Jerry Maguire and Born on the Fourth of July:
This guy’s not gonna get an Oscar. He’s an acting whore. It’s all about the Benjamins with him. But he can act. He absolutely washed Brad Pitt when they matched up in Interview With a Vampire and even though I recognized him as Les Grossman before the final credits in Tropic Thunder, that doesn’t mean there wasn’t second when I wasn’t like, ” Who da fuq?”
Nominated for Sweeney Todd, Finding Neverland and Pirates of the Caribbean:
He was good in Donnie Brasco, but this guy only makes my list because he bodied the role of one of my three favorite writers, Hunter S. Thompson, in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Loved the book so much I ain’t even like the movie at first. Now I think it’s at least as good as Pootie Tang.
Nominated for Tropic Thunder and Chaplin:
Keep it real, he shoulda won for Tropic Thunder. If Heath Leger ain’t kick, the trophy was his. Now he’s doing hack shit seemingly just to prostitute himself for the statue. The Judge? What the fuck was that? Get back to that Kiss Kiss Bang Bang shit that was classic. Next, this muhfucca’s gonna be wearing a prosthetic nose!
Nominated for Dreamgirls:
And yeah, I’m biased; fuck it. This is my list, goddamn it! Call it lowbrow all you want, but the distinction between Mama Klump and Sherman alone shoulda got this guy an Oscar for Nutty Professor.
Nominated for The Social Network
Now that he’s fucking with Woody Allen on a consistent basis, it’s just a matter of time. Not that Woody’s gonna get him an Oscar. Woody’s only got an Oscar for 1 dude, Michael Caine, the other 6 he got for women, But from Adventureland to Zombieland Jesse’s always good in movies that are always good.
Nominated for Pulp Fiction:
His Stephen from Django Unchained wasn’t a role, it was a daguerreotype.
Nominated for Twelve Monkeys, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and Moneyball:
Can you name a movie role as iconic as Tyler Durden from Fight Club for an entire generation of lost man-boys?
Nominated for Primal Fear, American History X and Birdman:
You typecast actors when you first see them so when I first saw this dude, it was in Everyone Says I Love You, so I thought he really was a dorky nebish. Then I saw American History X. Then I saw Fight Club. Then I saw Primal Fear. Dude was even bananas in the 5 seconds he was onscreen in The Grand Budapest Hotel. Shoulda won it for Birdman, tho. That was the bullshit.