10 Great Actors That STILL Ain’t Got No Oscar

Now that Leo’s got his (and we can all relax) let’s take a look at not only some cumulative deserving winners, but a couple – and yeah, just two – that shoulda won because of singular performances that were just insane.

     10. Larenz Tatelarenz

Never nominated.

Don’t know how many times I hafta say this but I’ma say it till there’s no more breath within me, O Dog from Menace II Society is one of the three finest acting jobs I’ve ever seen in my life. Larenz wasn’t ever nearly as good in anything else.

     9. Mickey Rourkemarv

Nominated for The Wrestler:

I remember him from his pretty boy days of Angel Heart, all the way up through that creepy Bullet bullshit he did with Tupac, but again, as far as singular performances, his “Marv” from Sin City was another of my three best.

     8. Tom Cruiseles-grossman

Nominated for Magnolia, Jerry Maguire and Born on the Fourth of July:

This guy’s not gonna get an Oscar. He’s an acting whore. It’s all about the Benjamins with him. But he can act. He absolutely washed Brad Pitt when they matched up in Interview With a Vampire and even though I recognized him as Les Grossman before the final credits in Tropic Thunder, that doesn’t mean there wasn’t second when I wasn’t like, ” Who da fuq?”

     7. Johnny Deppjohnny-depp-fear-and-loathing-in-las-vegas

Nominated for Sweeney Todd, Finding Neverland and Pirates of the Caribbean:

He was good in Donnie Brasco, but this guy only makes my list because he bodied the role of one of my three favorite writers, Hunter S. Thompson, in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Loved the book so much I ain’t even like the movie at first. Now I think it’s at least as good as Pootie Tang.

     6. Robert Downey Jr.robert-downey-jr-in-movie-tropic-thunder-2008

Nominated for Tropic Thunder and Chaplin:

Keep it real, he shoulda won for Tropic Thunder. If Heath Leger ain’t kick, the trophy was his. Now he’s doing hack shit seemingly just to prostitute himself for the statue. The Judge? What the fuck was that? Get back to that Kiss Kiss Bang Bang shit that was classic. Next, this muhfucca’s gonna be wearing a prosthetic nose!

     5. Eddie Murphynutty_professor_ii_the_klumps

Nominated for Dreamgirls:

And yeah, I’m biased; fuck it. This is my list, goddamn it! Call it lowbrow all you want, but the distinction between Mama Klump and Sherman alone shoulda got this guy an Oscar for Nutty Professor.

     4. Jesse Eisenbergzombieland-jesse-eisenberg_528_poster

Nominated for The Social Network

Now that he’s fucking with Woody Allen on a consistent basis, it’s just a matter of time. Not that Woody’s gonna get him an Oscar. Woody’s only got an Oscar for 1 dude, Michael Caine, the other 6 he got for women, But from Adventureland to Zombieland Jesse’s always good in movies that are always good.

     3. Samuel L. JacksonStephen

Nominated for Pulp Fiction:

His Stephen from Django Unchained wasn’t a role, it was a daguerreotype.

     2. Brad Pitttyler

Nominated for Twelve Monkeys, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and Moneyball:

Can you name a movie role as iconic as Tyler Durden from Fight Club for an entire generation of lost man-boys?

  1. Edward NortonEdward Norton Birdman

Nominated for Primal Fear, American History X and Birdman:

You typecast actors when you first see them so when I first saw this dude, it was in Everyone Says I Love You, so I thought he really was a dorky nebish. Then I saw American History X. Then I saw Fight Club. Then I saw Primal Fear. Dude was even bananas in the 5 seconds he was onscreen in The Grand Budapest Hotel. Shoulda won it for Birdman, tho. That was the bullshit.

About the Author

Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town. Also: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01E7NYMP4

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