Wait: Did Michael Jordan REALLY Try to Fuck Madonna???

Chicago Bulls Dennis Rodman and Scottie Pippen 1995 - 96

Apparently there was a triangle going on with those great Bulls teams of the 90s that Michael Jordan wasn’t a part of.

I mean by now, everybody knows that pop superstar Madonna had that Badu-pussy before even Erykah did; turning ex-husband Sean Pean into a homicidal maniac and eventually making Yankees slugger Alex Rodriguez leave his wife, but you gotta be old-school like me to remember how back when he was just a vaguely weird member of the Detroit Pistons, Dennis Rodman got a whiff of that Material snatch and the next thing you knew, the nigga was all tatted up, dyeing his hair, piercing himself, marrying himself, and sleeping in a pick-up truck outside the Palace in Auburn Hills contemplating suicide.

What I didn’t know was that eventually, or maybe even simultaneously, Scottie Pippen started hitting that “Human Nature“, and that whenever the Bulls were in LA, Madonna would send a limo for the 6’7” forward.

I would call him a “small” forward, but according to the dirt dished by former Bulls assistant coach Johnny Bach on the rivalry between Pippen and Jordan, Scottie was anything but small (pause, No Homo, that was gay as hell and I’m sorry.)

But also and perhaps most disturbingly, Mike displayed an almost Bryson Tiller “Don’t“-level of fuckboyery by, according to the rumor, begging Madonna to let him hit it just to prove he could do her better that Scottie.

Madonna’s “groove” must be like Bill Laimbeer rotating to help out because Mike got shut down.

They say Mike and Scottie were ultra-competitive as teammates, but C’mon, Son.

On another level however, Jordan’s competitiveness with Pippen makes perfect sense.

I mean, if you read my blog enough, you know I don’t rank Jordan higher than the 3rd best player in NBA history.

And while granted, Mike has the league’s highest ever scoring average and has the most Chips without a loss, I also can rattle off a quick 10 reasons why he’s not the best:

1. Doesn’t have the most rings: Bill Russell does with 11
2. Doesn’t have the most appearances: Even Kobe has more with 7
3. Has next to no NBA records: Only most total points in the playoffs.
4. Didn’t win till his 7th season: unlike say Bird, Magic, Russell, Tim Duncan, or Alcindor who all won in their first or second.
5. Didn’t cause a rule change: unlike Wilt Chamberlain who caused the league to widen the lane or even Shaq & Iverson who were behind zone defenses being allowed.
6. Spent more than 1/2 his career not even in the Finals: unlike Magic and Russell
7. Benefited from free agency: could call on the likes of Bison Dele to come and get this money
8. Only beat one champ: that was Magic in the 90-91 Finals: Meanwhile, Magic’s 5 rings all came against champs like Dr. J, Bird, and Isiah Thomas.
9. Played for more than one team but only won with one: unlike Shaq, Wilt, Kareem, and Bill Walton
10. Most importantly, unlike Bill Russell who won his last ring with 11 different guys than he won his first ring with, Mike never won without Scottie.

About the Author

Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town. Also: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01E7NYMP4

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