Cheating, Suicide, and Why Her Body Count Can NEVER Be Higher than His


There’s this great documentary about the muhfuccas that jumped from the Golden Gate Bridge.

It’s called, The Bridge.

Good title, I think.

That shit is spooky as fuck too because they actually show real footage of personages jumping off the bridge.

In this Orwellian society, there’s not only a camera everywhere, but a camera going everywhere; filming.

So late at night or in the middle of the day – whatever – you’d either see the jumpers clearly or you’d see the splash.

The illest part was tho: the ones that survived.

They were crazy.

Every single one of them said that the second their feet had left terra firma, they regretted it.

Imagine that. You’re hurdling towards a big body of water at 9.2 meters per second give or take wind resistance, and now you decide that you don’t wanna die.

Makes you think that maybe the ones that did die were a little bit more committed.

But it’s the survivors of some shit like that I respect more than almost any other kind of attempted suicide.

I don’t fuck with that “cry for help” shit.

How pathetic is it to try to commit suicide and not be able to pull it off?

You’re a failure.

I would tell you to kill yourself but… you know…

So now as Kehlani – and again, why do we know her? – is recovering from her recent suicide “attempt”, brought on, no doubt, by getting back with an ex-boyfriend that didn’t even have the decency to announce their reconnecting as being anything other than sexual, this is the part where a more sensitive soul would wish her well.

I’m that not that soul.

I don’t think suicide is a sin.

I think your life is your gift and as with anything else that’s yours, you can do what the fuck you want with it.

Since it seems that Kehlani can’t manage a simple suicide however, maybe she should try something else.

I keep hearing that she’s a singer. Maybe it’s time to hear her sing.

Meanwhile, I really like Columbus Short.

I only really know him from Cadillac Records but I thought he was sensational in that.

Turns out he’d married SuperHead.

Now, I used to ask dudes this question: would you rather your chick have slept with 100 dudes before you and none after you or would you rather that she’d slept with 1 before and 1 after?

Believe it or not, this question stumped most men.

The reasonable man says that he’ll take the chick that put up the numbers so long as she’s faithful once she gets with him, but the truth is ladies, if you’re not sharp enough to lie and you ever do find a man whose “body count” is lower than yours and you tell him and he seems not to mind: watch out!

I remember ramming some chick back at my legendary HBCU and she was at 63 while I don’t even think I’d made 30 yet. She killed it by telling me that, not that we’d have had much of a chance anyway.

I’ve evolved since then, but not enough not to realize that men are competitive.

On the surface, we may be able to deal with a woman with a higher body count, but it gnaws at us.

Karrine (SuperHead) Steffans caught her husband Columbus Short cheating on her and threw him out.

I wish I could have warned her in advance.

About the Author


Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town.

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