10 Baddest Black Female Athletes Ever

     10. Marion Jones marion

Honey was so bad she made me hate her ex-husband C.J. Hunter for diming on her about the whole PED scandal. So what she moved on? Get over it! Great smile, long legs, pretty as the sunset when the night holds promise. Also, who else, once effectively banned, could simply switch sports and become a pro basketball player?

     9. Jasmine Lister Jasmine-Lister

No, don’t forgive me for being a cisgender scum and appreciating a Bubble, but I do hafta apologize because by the numbers, Jasmine Lister ain’t even that hot. 2.9ppg in her rookie season? Wilt Chamberlain has nothing to worry about. Then again, after seeing the above pic of her taken from the sideline where she, uh, sidelines as a UCONN assistant coach, maybe the WNBA should consider forcing it’s players to wear bodysuits.  I mean, nobody wants to see Oliver Miller in one of them shits, and I’m sure I’m speaking for the ladies as well.

     8. Laila Ali Laila-Ali-Feet-230456

I actually sat across from her once and wanted to spit my game, talk my shit, but she was married and her husband at the time was a fighter and I ain’t want them both kicking my ass. The Apple didn’t fall too far at all in this case. It just switched genders.

     7. Surya Bonaly (tie) Dominique Dawes suryadd resize

You know a chick got a bad body when you’re watching ice skating and/or gymnastics. And when you’re actually waiting for a twirl so the skirt will lift up, you might as well turn yourself in to law enforcement. I was at the Essence Awards once when Sinbad was making jokes about how “flexible” Dominique must be. Felt great to know that I wasn’t the only degenerate in attendance.

     6. Jennifer Abel Jennifer-Abel-Feet-752982

Listen, before you warn me that I’m going to hell because I was sitting around enraptured by the Bubble of a then-16 year-old diving phenom, let me tell you in advance that I was going to hell anyway. And I’ll say “hi” to Hitler for you as I pass him headed to a lower level.

     5. Skylar Diggins skylar diggins

Her face is so empirically pretty that for a while, I thought all the fuss was over just that. You could miss me with that face stuff, as I’ve said before. Then I saw her in a swimsuit… Well, Drake, Wayne, I know you guys are big rap stars and everything, but how many books ya’ll read, muhfuccas?

     4. Florence Griffin-Joyner flo-jo-bikini

She wasn’t a stereotype, she was more like the archetype. I mean yeah, we all know that the baddest girls, who don’t do anything else, don’t show any other athletic inclination whatsoever, always end up on the track team. And while stuff like hair and nails is usually a drawback, usually the things that keep some Black girls from excelling, FloJo gave you hair, nails, speed and body unlike anybody before of after.

     3. Sydney Leroux sydney

Ok, so if Crystal Dunn is the Black-Girl-Messi, Sydney’s the Black-Girl-Luis Suarez… Minus all the biting, of course. Or, maybe even with the biting.. You never know…

      2. Wilma Rudolph wilma-rudolph-4

The original track star with a Bubble. They say even Laila’s father, young Clay himself fell in love with her while they were in Rome. Who can blame him? Rocked the pixie-cut before Anita Baker or Halle Berry.

  1. Serena Williams Serena-Letterman-3

Salivated over her winning the US Open at 16. What can I say? I just passed Judas in Hell’s Elevator and I’m headed even lower.

About the Author

Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town. Also: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01E7NYMP4

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