An Interview with Dickie Bhee (now that he’s a serious literary genius)

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I sat down with Dickie Bhee recently who, after publishing his first book, kept me waiting for like a hour before he showed up in the mirror wearing sunglasses and acting like he ain’t know nobody.

Me:

What took you so long?

DB:

Well, you know, now that I’m a literary titan, I’ve had to add some grandiose aspects to my character and demeanor.

Me:

Shouldn’t you just write well?

DB:

Well, I can’t do that so I figured I’d just acquire all the other trappings of great literary success and hope nobody notices.

Me:

Are you saying the book’s no good?

DB:

The book is awesome, man! Did you have a chance to read it?

Me:

Yes.

DB:

And?

Me:

Amazing.

DB:

See? And this is just my first. Imagine when I get like another 1/2 book under my belt!

Me:

Well, not so fast! Let’s talk about this one. What’s it about? What motivated you to write it? Is it autobiographical?

DB:

Well, as you may know from my bio…

Me:

You’ve got a bio?

DB:

Can I finish? Damn, Kanye! Like I was saying, as you may already know, I was far from a star my one year as a high school football player. And like anybody I guess, especially the people that didn’t actually become stars, I projected what I could have been if I had actually put more focus into the game. That was kinda the basis for the character. The mom and dad are kinda my mom and dad. The love interest is a composite and the teammates are all a bunch of guys I really knew, grew up with and played high school football with.

Me:

So it is autobiographical.

DB:

Not so much. I mean, I was nowhere near as good as Blake Whitmore, nor did I read as many books as he had by that age. But I was sexually frustrated, my mother and I had a similar relationship, my father and I had a similar relationship and I was about as comparatively nerdy as he is.

Me:

There’s also a lot of, uh… what I guess I should call “theoretical blackness” in it.

DB:

There’s also a lot of actual blackness in it as well. I mean, I kinda used to think that it was tragic that Black writers had to deal with blackness as if it were a metaphysical reality, as if it were an external that was important to the inner character or his or her inner workings, but now I think I understand that in America, blackness is impossible to escape and it would be psychically dishonest for a Black writer try to render it as a non-factor and still write what he or she considers to be an “American” book.

Me:

Are you saying that white writers don’t have to deal with whiteness?

DB:

No, on the contrary. See, that’s what I’ve come to understand. And that’s why I’ve always liked most the ones that dealt with it honestly. The writers that try to “universalize” whiteness or exclude non-whites in their stories often end up making themselves and their stories flat and unbelievable.

Me:

And you don’t think people are gonna have a problem with a Black 16 year-old that’s read a thousand books?

DB (laughing):

Not if Katniss Everdeen can win The Hunger Games!

Me (laughing)

Well, there you have it! Cop The Big Game. It is good. It’s Young Adult, but I loved it and I’m almost… well, never mind how old I am!

About the Author

dickiebhee

Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town.
Also: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01E7NYMP4

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