Petty Ayesha Curry, Ugly Ass Food & Other Reasons for Hoes to Celebrate


Black people amaze me and not only because some of us like chitterlings – not me, not at all me – but also because we’re usually the first ones to tease white people for making delicious-looking food that don’t have no seasoning.

See, that’s an ongoing gag between the races: Black people can cook, white people can paint and sculpt.

Therefore, if served a heaping plate of food at a white family dinner, expect it to look like a Mona Lisa but taste like a canvas, meanwhile you won’t be able to make out what the fuck is on the plate the Black folks served you, but not only will each ingredient sing out in bold relief by the time it hits your tongue, it will literally smoke your taste buds, leaving you both full and high, hence the itis, as it were.

But when Ayesha Curry, titular Mother Superior of Black Female America and new host of her very own cooking show, took to Instagram to post a pic of a plate which could only fairly be described as “dead bird leg and other shit”, her haters were out in force, cocks fresh from their mouths, thongs giving them yeast infections and everything.

See, Ayesha Curry’s a bit of a pariah to the growing pro-ho movement. Her stance on dressing conservatively is ridiculed as archaic by a bunch of broads that would surely scream on a nigga and slam the door in his face if he showed up sagging on their first date.

The double-standards are amazing; as are these chicks’ inability to understand something as simple as a uniform code.

Of course you can wear what the fuck you want, just don’t expect to get the same shit as someone that’s dressed appropriately.

If nothing else, these silly girls are simply proving they’d be inequipped to be wifed up to some big time ball player arguing, as their logic would force them, of course you can wear what you want, baby, and sending Steph Curry out dressed like some kinda Cleveland Cavalier.

But maybe yesterday’s display of petty may reconcile Ayesha with even the most debased cock-gobbling of hoes.

See, fine-ass Rosalyn Gold-Onwude was interviewing husband Steph after the Warriors big Game 1 playoff win against the Houston Rockets and Ayesha wasn’t just on it, she was in it.

Not only did she seem to be checking to make sure no inappropriate eye contact between star ball player and interviewer was going down, but she also managed to plant a wet one on Steph’s back!

Now, if there’s anything all women can relate to, it’s keeping other bitches off their man.

So finally some solidarity maybe between the hoes and the, er, “nos” I guess would be the appropriate term.

As far as the food thing is concerned, it would be tough to eek out a quality Ayesha-bashing based solely on a pic.

Who among you, melanated children, care how a plate of food looks?

And imagine if some of you hoes actually bit into Ms. Curry’s plate and that shit tasted delicious.

Bet that would leave you, pardon the pun, salty.

About the Author

Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town. Also:

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