If Black Americans Ever Start Playing Soccer, It’s Over for Y’all


Maybe one benefit I should be considering about all this gentrification is that as YT moves back into the hood, turning the Stink Eye on us colored as he and she always do when we’re neighbors, we Spooks will be left with no choice but to head for the hills.

This may end up being a good thing.

See, because one of the detriments of us Black urban folks living in all these concrete jungles, is that every nigga born, after realizing he can’t rap, wants to become a basketball star.

This is terrifyingly limiting.

Fellas, there’s only 30 NBA teams and 12 active roster spots per team. Add to that, and I’ve made this point before, there’s actually a gross, vicious, henious, disgusting and anti-American thing known as a “salary cap” in basketball.

Colored folks are so silly we’ve never bothered to question why the only sports where there are salary caps are the ones we dominate.

Ain’t no such cap in baseball.

Nor in soccer.

Put in perspective, Kobe Bryant, this year’s highest paid NBA player made 25 million before taxes.

Meanwhile, Christiano Ronaldo, pro soccer’s highest paid player made over 22 million after taxes.

And you ain’t gotta be no Nikki Giovanni to realize that 22 million after taxes is a shitload more than 25 million before.

Moreover – since the bulk of great soccer is played in European leagues and therefore outside the United States, and since our American former “Massas” are so obsessed with us that they don’t even like the idea of us vacationing if it involves going any further than Atlanta, my thinking is that there’d be some genuine fear that should niggas really see the world, we’d discover that there’s more to life than fighting American racism.

And is there any reason to doubt we’d snatch the sport of soccer if we applied ourselves?

So far, we’ve only got American-born Black stars by the twos and fews.

Cats like Jozy Altidore, son of Haitian immigrants and DeMarcus Beasley, Black oddball extraordinaire.

Imagine LeBron’s power or Steph’s accuracy.

Muhfuccas love to believe that we play basketball the way we do because of some sort of “instinct” – meanwhile even Nietzsche argues “‘instinct’ is the most intelligent of all kinds of intelligence” – but we ain’t invent basketball.

Neither did James Naismith for that matter. It was the Mayans. And unless you’re now gonna allow for an arguement that I’ve heard too many niggas for too many years try to force themselves – that we’ve all “got some Indian” in us – trash that instinctive basketball playing bullshit.

Simply: Black inclusion into American sport has deliberately been slow and prohibitive not only because of the Jack Johnson-based fear of Black winning causing “uppitiness” , but also the all encompassing fear of Blacks “taking over”.

The case was made in Major League Baseball where there was a genuine ban until 1947, in other sports where there were softer bans, no less real but not stated overtly, and outright racist dictates like in golf and tennis where there were exclusive clubs and facilities.

My fear is this; that we’ve become so conditioned to accepting limitations externally imposed, that we’ve even begun to enforce them shits.

Like the N-Word, ridiculous ideas made up to reduce us are now guarded, protected and defended by us.

And that shit needs to stop right now.

I’m fucking tired of rooting for Ghana in the World Cup.

About the Author


Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town.
Also: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01E7NYMP4

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