Lil Wayne Coons for Cash OR What Else is New?

You know, I’m not for that “making us all look bad” bullshit because I give less than a fuck that there are some white people who can interpret thousands upon thousands of either positive or benign Black images yet assign to us as a whole the very worst stuff they see.

Niggas ain’t allowed to do that stupid shit.

If I said all white people were Mansons or Hitlers even niggas wouldn’t agree with me. Well, most niggas wouldn’t. The others, it’s best to keep guns away from. Or should we actually arm those types?

Interesting debate, I think, but for another post, that’s for certain.

Anyway, this current Lil Wayne commercial where the fool is actually pouring champagne on his cell phone to prove its water-resistance would only be a new low if you weren’t already familiar with the day-job work of the individual in question.

“Beautiful Black woman/I bet that bitch look better red”


Don’t get me wrong; Wayne is a good MC. He’s not great, but he makes good music and he’s shrewd; signing Drake, when the better bet would have been that the Canadian was only a middling actor.

And I’m hoping that Wayne wasn’t the designer of his own coonility, because in the commercial he sits idly, accompanied by obligatory hangers-on, in spare but brightly lit and well furnished environs, pouring champagne on his Samsung Galaxy S7.

He gets a phone call and proceeds to tell the caller he’s “about to put you in the fish tank”.

He then puts the phone in the fish tank.

One of the hangers-on tries the same champagne-pouring stunt on his own phone which, dubiously sparks and flames itself out of commission.

Not to worry, though. Wayne has another Samsung for him.

During this whole minstrel-moment, the catchphrase of surprise seems to be an elongated “what” pronounced “whaaaaaaa?” no -‘T’.

It’s “whaaaaaaa” as Wayne first demonstrates his phone’s submariner capabilities, it’s “whaaaaaa” through the phone from the “homie” as Wayne’s phone goes into the fish tank, the tail end of that “whaaaaaaa” being heard as the phone emerges.

And while, sure, get your money Wayne; only broke niggas hate, I’d be remiss not to notice how rife with stereotype this particular endorsement is.

It gives license to all the worst tropes about Blacks especially Blacks once we’ve got money.

Instead of showing Wayne at home with a wife or his kids, he is, of course, in the company of his “boys”.

While his place is attractively furnished, his indifference about pouring champagne all over his table and then subsequently, his floor and carpeting demonstrate both a frivolousness and an inconsiderateness being that we’re left to imagine this mess will be left in the hands of some cleaning person  – another possibly unnecessary expense.

And then instead of perhaps, a studio scene where an intense, focused and working Wayne is shown behind the boards as some helpless lackey spills water on his phone which Wayne could dismiss with an explanation of the phone’s water resistance, then with the same half distracted indifference order said lackey “G’head, toss it in the fish tank”, thereby making the same point, the uninformed are left imagining that this is really how a multi-platinum, 4 time Grammy Award winning artist with a net worth of $140 million spends his days.

And like I wrote, to hell with what some racist somewhere might think, what would really be a shame is if some young, aspiring MC thought that this was the pot of gold at the end of Wayne’s rainbow.

Or, sadly, maybe it is.


About the Author

Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town. Also:

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