The Plot to Keep Black Women Single


By now, the absolute corniest nigga that Beyonce has ever met in her entire life is one Shawn Corey Carter. She’s seen him when he’s sleeping, she knows what he looks like without a haircut, she’s walked into the bathroom after he’s finished using it 30-40 minutes too soon, she knows, in short, The Truth.

Yet she’s still with him.

Now, absolutely the most inane reaction to Ms. Knowles-Carter’s Lemonade album was that it couldn’t be about female empowerment for just that reason.

Never mind that we have a front-running Democratic candidate for President who was confronted with hard and concrete evidence that her husband really was unfaithful and turned her decision to stay with him into a testament to love, family and commitment, if a Black woman even makes a song about the possibility of cheating, she’s supposed to dump the man on whom the possibility is based immediately; no second considerations, no time for counter arguments, just do it.

Consider The New York Daily News where columnist Gersh Kuntzman, lamenting the demise of his own marriage, titled his piece by calling Lemonade a “capitulation to Jay Z” and then went on to say “Jay Z obviously is searching for nourishment. Beyonce should let him keep looking for it.”

And of course Azealia Banks, never missing an opportunity to trend, weighed in with the following:

On the Azelaia front, two thoughts and a quote come to mind.

The quote is:

“When people really love, or are genuinely in touch with themselves, they tend to shut up.”

–Susan Sontag

One of the thoughts is from Wallace Thurman’s brilliant The Blacker the Berry, where a friend of the dark-skinned female protagonist talks her out of marrying a man just so she, the friend, can marry him.

Ms. Banks’ last mixtape was entitled Slay-Z

The other thought is that since Ms. Banks has already politicized her dating preference for white boys, breaking up a Black family and gaining an ally like Beyonce for her warped philosophy would be a considerable coup.

If we were to be honest as a people, Black folks would admit that the most hurtful, damaging, and ridiculous refrain we pass around like a spliff of Reggie is the notion that Black women “don’t need no man”, a expression so ubiquitous, that even the late great Notorious B.I.G. spits it in reference to his own daughter.

Who could have started such a divisive and counterrevolutionary sentiment?

Sounds like some bullshit white-girl version of feminism.

And it’s amazing not only because Black people are not single-cell organisms and therefore can’t reproduce without male involvement, but also because an overwhelming percentage of the woman that endorse this belief are Christians that pray and kneel before “Father” God and his “Son” Jesus.

Now, speaking as a man, men are simple.

We consider finding a “soul mate” just another problem solved; next goal.

Dudes more particular than that usually ain’t interested in women in the first place.

So ultimately, Black women need to reject that “don’t need no man” nonsense if only because, once ingrained, it works as self-sabotage.

You’ll be ready to toss a dude because your hating ass friends tell you to.

Or some columnist from the Daily News.

Or Azealia Banks.

About the Author


Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town.

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