What’s the Next Car They Should Bring Back?

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My first car ever was a 1974 Buick Electra 225 or a “Deuce and a Quarter” as the old ne’er do wells used to call them.

The thing was just too big; and that’s genuinely the only complaint I had about it.

I mean, I could go on about the fact that it had an 8 track, but I had Marvin Gaye’s I Want You Album on 8 track so that kinda evened things out, and I could also make an issue of the fact that it had bench seating, but realistically, I had a girlfriend when I had that car and not an apartment – 17 and still living with mom- so bench seating did have it’s fringe benefits, but a real drawback was that the car was a coup.

When you’re 17 and you have a car, you have more friends than space so it becomes almost a circus event when you pull up to a spot and 3000 people get out of only two doors.

Other than that, Gucci.

Now, being from a Black American, read: Cadillac, hierarchy, driving the Deuce and a Quarter was about the closest I could get to the Gold Standard.

The Gold Standard was, of course, the same GM ride in Cadillac form as the Deuce and a Quarter, the Sedan DeVille (notice I said “sedan” and not “coup”).

God, what a car.

Remember, this is from an era when those big automotives were actually preferable, as evidenced by none other and Iceberg Slim, street players called them “spaceships”, even squares called them “hogs” and all looked down condescendingly on smaller cars, calling them “shorts”, redemption only possible if said short was a foreign job like a Maserati or an Alfa Romero

So, along the lines of the Dodge Charger or the Shelby Mustang or the Chevy Camaro or the High Top Fade, my personal recommendation for the next car to add interior and technological upgrades with a bare minimum of exterior modifications would be the Cadillac Sedan DeVille.

I remember one night up in White Plains hanging with this slim/thick chick and she saw one of them joints.

Wasn’t even a great color or anything, it was white.

In any event, she went off and had a conversation with the driver.

I couldn’t really get tight about it. At that point in my life, I was on foot.

And I don’t know if he fucked her or not that night but I know I didn’t.

“I’m from Detroit”, she offered by way of an excuse.

And see, that’s where I blame Hip Hop, The Notorious B.I.G. most especially, poisining young New York minds into thinking Mercedes 600s were something of value.

Meanwhile, thick girls in parking lots throughout the nation were being swept off their feet by dudes shrewd enough to know better.

For the the record, I’ve had, to date, The Deuce, an old-school Honda Civic hatchback, a Mazda GLC Deluxe, a Volvo 740, a Volkswagen Passat Wagon, a Volvo S40, a Volvo S80 and very briefly a Jeep Grand Cherokee.

I’d still like to own an Audi and a BMW, but the ultimate would be Cadillac bringing back that middle 70’s-style Sedan DeVille with slight modifications, maybe make it a little smaller.

And you know how you’ll know if it happens?

Dickiebheeonthestreetz will become Dickiebheeinaspaceship.

 

About the Author

dickiebhee
Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town. Also: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01E7NYMP4

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