Why is Everybody So Afraid of the Kardashians?


Wait, they got Oscar winners shook now?

The Oscars: the highest muhfuccin award a muhfucca can win for film and a chick that made an altogether different kinda film has got winners bowing down?

There’s something wrong with this, ahem, picture.

Stick to your guns, Anne Hathaway.

If you wanna bash Kim K and Klan, go right ahead.

Don’t take down your posts.

You see I always stick it to them hoes (pardon the pun).

And on a white bitch scale, you’re actually hotter than Kim K.

She got you on the ass, but you’ve got that big, pink mouth, you’re leggy, genuinely pretty, and of course, YOU’VE GOT A MUHFUCCIN OSCAR.

Now let me take a trip down imdb lane…

Didn’t see you when you won the Oscar for Les Mis which is a shame cause I totally fucks with the book (shout out to Victor Hugo – may he rest…) and I saw the original.

Did catch you in Brokeback Mountain, The Devil Wears Prada, Rachel Getting Married, Love and Other Drugs and the Dark Night Rises.

You’ve got chops. You’re a good actress. Better than solid and you deserve a fucking Oscar.

Now, Helena Bonham Carter – who you were caping for – caught her in A Room With a View, Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, Mighty Aphrodite, Fight Club (of course), Big Fish, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, Terminator Salvation, The King’s Speech, and Dark Shadows.

The crime, in her case, is that even though she’s been nominated two times, she ain’t never won no Oscar.

Now, as for Kim Kardashian, I did see her in Epic Movie and I saw Ray J in her.

No comparison.

Anne, your capitulation simply proves that we have now officially become the Idiocracy that film warned against; a nation that values low culture above high, film itself having relatively recently become high culture replacing novels and literature which, many would be amazed to discover, were once considered low culture themsleves.

That said, the shot was a lil unnecessary, My White Queen.

You coulda given props to Ms. Bonham Carter without taking shots at the KKK.

Them hoes ain’t say shit against you.

But one of the downsides of being in the spotlight that everyone seeks – despite seeing how it warps and corrupts those who have it – is that you’re always a target.

People would rather see you lose.

The only story that tops a rags-to-riches tale is a fall from grace.

People wanna see you fucked up and in the street if only so that afterwards, they can lament how much they miss you.

Muhfuccas miss Mayweather, Tyson and will miss Obama.

The point I’m making which, of course, I took the very roundabout way of getting to, is that even though that was a very fucked up and unnecessary shot you took at the K Klan, them and their Stans have gotta be used to that type shit by now.

It comes with the territory.

I’m not a Kardashian fan, but I do admire how they’ve been able to keep a whole family’s popularity afloat based solely on a two-handed blowjob.

Still, even the Kardashians will pass.

And irony of us discussing them – meaning they’re a topic yet again – aside, when they are finally gone, will even I miss the Kardashians?

Fuck no.

Fuck them hoes.

There’ll be some other bullshit distraction to take their place.

About the Author

Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town. Also: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01E7NYMP4

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