The Joys (and MORE Joys) of Fat Bitches!

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Lemme tell you, there’s only one thing that should concern you should you find yourself getting involved in a deep love thing with a fat bitch, and that is that she don’t put on even more weight.

And maybe that might not even be your fear. Maybe you might want her even bigger but nah, for me, that would be the main concern.

See, cause unlike with skinny bitches – who are loathsome – and genuinely thick bitches – who are rare but still worry you cause you see fat around the corner – usually, if you fall in love with a fat bitch, a nigga all of a sudden becomes Billy Joel and loves her just the way she is.

This means, of course, that the bitch can’t put on another muhfuccin pound.

If she was 400lbs when you met her, you become nuclear-scientific about making sure the bitch remains that for the rest of her life.

You do shit like regulate her diet to the last saltine and take the bitch to the gym for exactly 13 minutes.

It becomes time consuming, all encompassing, madness.

Meanwhile, if you’re into fat chicks, you might fuck with a thick one in anticipation that they’ll put on that last few they need and that’s it, but skinny girls… man, you’d have to get some medieval contraption that tied their mouths open meanwhile shoveling in a nonstop stream of lard, fried chicken, chocolate, beer and the entire spectrum of pig.

As you can probably tell by now, Dickie Bhee’s got a thing for fat bitches.

I must have been about 20 when I had my first.

She probably went about 250lbs, wasn’t too cute and had a bit of of a gut, but when she turned around, you’d see the curvature of the earth before you would the end of that ass.

I had another magical fat bitch during my time in Atlanta.

Incredible!

Outstanding!

Amazing!

Beautful!

Then I had a fat bitch girlfriend in Virginia; just superb!

All this said, imagine the rising bile of my righteous indignation when reading that some almost certainly closeted Lousiana Republican named Kenny Harvard briefly tried to suggest capping not only the legal ages but also weights of women interested in working as strippers.

Now, deliberately, I didn’t wanna get into all the old bitches I’ve loved and, let me tell you, I could do a whole other post on that, but a maximum age of 28 when a woman is nowhere near entering her prime until well after 35, and a maximum weight of 160 when, as any Negro worth his melanin will readily tell you, barely qualifies a woman for being on the cusp of being able to accurately describe herself as “thick”, are both standards so off that only men interested in seeing strippers they could still fantasize were fit young boys in their mind’s eyes would even try to impose.

And no, my niggas, this ain’t some race shit.

There’s just a high a percentage of white Norbits as Black ones.

This is, of course and sadly, some government shit.

They always think they know better than you.

They always think they know what’s best for you.

They’re always wrong.

Why do you elect them?

About the Author

dickiebhee

Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town.
Also: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01E7NYMP4

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