If y’all don’t see this coming, you need glasses.
Not only is he Black and a basketball star, but Kyrie has a thing for white and light-skinned girls, of which Kylie Jenner is one, the other or both.
And in keeping with the tradition of messy, petty, home life stickiness where the only true female Kardashian will soon be a young lady once known professionally as Blac Chyna, you can expect the same Sound Cloud bozo, PartyNextDoor, that broke up with Kehlani, making her for a moment available for Kyrie, then snatched her back, making her suicidal, to be the portal through which our young NBA star falls into meeting young Kylie Jenner; surgically enhanced supertramp, hot on the heels of a sisterhood that has miles of dick already conquered, leaving her with a lot of catching up to do.
Wait until the Finals are over, Kyrie. That would be my only advice.
That and, oh, fuck Khloe first. Don’t think there’s ever been anybody that’s gone on record as having done two of them, and Khloe will fuck any nigga that’s ever been on television.
And why am I inviting young Kyrie to fuck young Kylie?
Me; a man who can’t stand that Kardashian clan.
Because poor Kyrie Irving must avenge himself.
But now that he’s finally had the kind of performance through which legends are made – in Game 5 of this year’s Finals he was like Iverson in Game 1 of 2001’s Finals – he’ll want some legendary tang.
And it don’t get more legendary than that Kardashian/Jenner stuff.
Make no mistake, everybody wants to have fucked a Kardashian. Notice, I didn’t say wanted to fuck, I put it in the past tense for a reason.
Fucking a Kardashian has come to be a rights of passage of sorts, a confirmation that you’re simultaneously young, American, and that you’re at least on television.
And while it’s tough to say who made that pussy Grey Poupon – especially since the first to publicly enjoy it, Ray J, had Mickey D tastes – but now it’s an absolute must if you’re a rapper, ball player, International Man of Mystery or just, like I said, a nigga on television.
And as far as the revenge factor is concerned…
Kyrie can front nonchalance all he wants, but there was egg on his face earlier this very year when his less-than-superstar girlfriend Kehlani left him to return to her less-than-less-than-superstar ex, PartyNextDoor.
Love being what it is, on one level you couldn’t fault her.
My thing was (and is) that dude showed her absolutely no respect by how he announced their reconciliation.
A pic of them in bed together on instagram?
Might as well have used a pic of you giving the thumbs up while she blew you.
Not to mention, as soon as they got back together, dude bounced to go chase around Kylie Jenner.
So yeah, Kyrie’s got something to be salty over.
And since Kris is still the real power behind the throne as far as the whole Kardashian clan is concerned, Kyrie should arrainge a meeting, paycheck in hand.
Talk about a nice touche.
Especially if the Cavs come back to win this thing, Kyrie wins Finals MVP and bangs the young teen for the first time on that same night.
That’d be a party you could hear from a few doors down.