Ride-or-Die Ayesha Curry Gets Rode On


Don’t act like after having taken a 3-1 lead, you wouldn’t have started planning shit too.

It’s been a long year, you probably haven’t gotten your box eaten properly by your husband since the last off-season, he’s skipping to Olympics “to heal” and Lord knows how much effort you had to put into convincing him to do that, and the fact is, you just want some family time as an extension of some “me” time.

Then Draymond Green, never a favorite, gets tossed out of Game 4 for something that realistically, should have gotten him and LeBron’s clown ass tossed, and you can kinda sense that things are not gonna go right in Game 5.

Sucks too because this one’ll be at home.

Sure enough, that turf-headed LeBron and LL Cool Kyrie act like they’re the reincarnations of George Gervin and Pete Maravich and whaddaya know?

They’ll be a Game 6.

But Game 6 isn’t going right.

You could understand your boys being flat for the Game 5 that they got gypped into expecting to lose, but they’re flat again.

All except your man. You’re man is ballin‘.

The refs musta known that he’d come to play because they’d sat his ass down with two quick fouls in the first quarter.

Some nifty shooting later and he’s got 30, but the fouls remain a problem and the next thing you know he’s hit with his 6th and he’s out of the game.

He loses it by throwing his mouthpiece, you lose it by going on Twitter and Twitter loses it because they hate you so much that you’re even knocked for being the one thing that every woman alive is supposed to be; her man’s ride-or-die.

In the Tweet that got deleted – and you ain’t got me fooled, Ms. Thing; it wasn’t deleted cause you changed your mind on the content, it was deleted cause Lil Miss Perfect had a typo – you tweeted:


You meant “I’m not sure which”.

This I know.

Still, by the time you sent out this tweet, you were back on point:

One would think that woulda had Black Twitter at least back on your side; who among that group cannot relate, but dig this Ms. Curry: ever since you came out in favor of morality, you’ve been a pariah.

This generation of hoes don’t wanna be shamed no mo!

This generation of hoes wanna be told that hoeing is God’s ordained mission for them in life and that they’ll find everything through it, including all that shit you got; good man, beautiful kids, lotsa money.

Kim Kardashian is their Lady Godiva.

But, as even I’ve pointed out, Kim K can’t be a hoe cause she’s white.

So like the Black geniuses that argue for inclusion into all things but denounce the “cultural appropriation” that’s required when other groups come sniffing up our asses, the universe has taken to bashing you because you said something as fundamental as “there is no Santa Claus”.

Even Stephen A. Smith whose hairline and kitchen, at this point, are only centimeters apart, came for you.

And of course the NBA is rigged.

Wanna know what else is?

Pro wrestling.

Wanna know what else is?


Wanna now what else?

Some Black people still love the Curry family, tho; light-skin and all.

You’re the cousins we always borrow money from.

You give it to us because it leaves you with the upper hand.

We take it because otherwise, we’d never hang out.

About the Author

Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town. Also: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01E7NYMP4

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