LeBron Moves Past Bird & Other Fuckery I Never Thought I’d See


Understand that when I picked the Cavs to come back and win this thing, I did it as a goof.

If you know anything about my sports predictions, you know they’re always wrong and despite cosigning the opinion of a dear 15 year-old, I really believed the Cavs had no chance and decided to put the fix in by personally jinxing them.

Now we’re here.

And I’m loathe to admit it, but this win does move LeBron James past Larry Bird and makes him the best small forward to ever play the game.

Bird still has the advantages of having won the Chip earlier in his career (2nd year vs. 9th year) and a better Finals winning record (3-2 vs 3-4) but LeBron led two different franchises to The Chip, putting him a category where only elite centers like Shaq, Wilt Chamberlain and Lew Alcindor/Kareen Abdul-Jabbar had dared to tread.

Still, he’s no GOAT; gimme Russell then Magic.

What LeBron is, if we’re fair, is the best ever player prime-for-prime, which is nothing to sneeze at, it’s just that GOATs come in the door winning, they don’t wait around till it’s their turn.

Kyrie Irving was the revelation of these games, though and somebody better put Kehlani back on suicide watch.

You leave your NBA-star boyfriend to go back to your SoundCloud recording artist ex who leaves you for Kylie Jenner then your ex, ex NBA-star boyfriend wins The Chip?

Maybe she shoulda finished the job the first time she tried it.

I’d read arguments that Kyrie was such a defensive liability that, with him healthy this year, the series wouldn’t even be as close as last year’s 6 game Golden State win.


Kyrie has an almost preternatural ball awareness and his sense of timing is as dramatic as any charismatic cinema villain.

Picture Kyrie as Kevin Spacey in Se7en as Steph Curry begs and begs “What’s in the box?”

But no, it’s not Ayesha’s head you sick freaks, it’s The Chip.

And now all other kindsa weirdness is in motion that might make the future even stranger and harder to love.

One rumor has Ray Allen coming to Cleveland – for what, tho?

Another has Kevin Love going to New York for Carmelo Anthony.

And, of course, there’s always talk of a reunion with Dwyane Wade.

Whatever the case, LeBron and whatever team he plays for become (again) the prohibitive favorite to appear in next year’s NBA Finals.

He might even bring Tyronn Lue back with him.

I saw Lue crying like LeBron’s bitch ass at the end of Game 7.

He was just happy that now people would think of him as something other than Allen Iverson’s leap frog.

Speaking of LeBron, bitches and crying; crying like that was Jordan’s move.

I didn’t appreciate seeing LeBron appropriate that shit especially since Kobe’s supposed to be the one with all of Mike’s moves down pat.

Also, “bitch” is the allegedly the word that Draymond Green called Lebron in Game 4 that set him off.

And 3 games later, you see how that worked out.

I don’t know about you, but if I were LeBron’s teammate, I know what I’d be calling him every time we were about to step out on the hardwood.

I might even be wearing a Warriors jersey when I did it too.


About the Author


Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town.
Also: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01E7NYMP4

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