If Iggy Azalea was anything other than white, there’d be little chance that she could literally “fail upward” and go from a basic NBA also-ran like Nick Young to a confirmed champion and arguably-deserved Finals MVP like Kyrie Irving, but being that she is white I’d advise her to give it a shot.
I mean, we’ve witnessed one semi-cute white girl get booted from a relationship with the lowest-tiered R&B crooner imaginable, to a Heisman trophy winner turned NFL scatback, to a power-less forward, and into a marriage with an absolute Hip Hop legend and icon, why not imagine that Kyrie would feel plumb honored to have Ms Azalea being that, unlike the wife of said Hip Hop titan, she has her own inarguable talent, and unlike Kyrie’s last (almost) white girlfriend, there’s little chance she’ll reconcile with her ex?
But why, Dickie Bhee, the big to-do about the white girls?
I honestly wish I knew.
Kyrie himself came under fire recently because footage of his post-championship yacht party emerged and all the female revelers seemed to be pale.
Of course, there’d have been an easy but risky out for this scene, but it would have taken a whole lotta guts.
Kyrie would have essentially had to have said that he was reversing the dynamic of old slavery-era parties where Negresses and Mulatta women were used exclusively for sexual purposes.
And that might have flown were it not for the fact that Kyrie’s baby-mama is white which demonstrates a preexisting preference.
And that’s cool too.
Thing is, Kyrie back peddled, issuing the statement that he was raised by Black women and because of this, was insulted that it could be implied that that he felt little inclination toward or interest in them.
Meanwhile, some genius posted this Tweet:
@IGGYAZALEA you are officially allowed to say "Niggas ain't shit"….. With the permission of all black women. ✊🏾
— SC:PimpTii (@MsBrown_Beauty) June 30, 2016
Needless to say, it was summarily booed, ridiculed, joked on, clowned, dragged and reduced to rubbish.
The faulty dual notion that cheating is the exclusive provenance of not only men, but Black men, combined with the idea that once cheated on by a Black man, a white woman has earned Black female privileges was, I think, launched with the best of intentions.
Thing is, since there’s this perceived shortage of “good” Black men and white women are considered one of the chief culprits in contributing to the shortage, embracing a white woman for losing a Black man would be, according to the logic of some, like Jesse Williams coming out as a Trump supporter.
So, where does all this leave us?
Well, with two kids that are absolutely perfect for each other!
One gets the feeling that Kyrie only attempted to date a biracial suicidal head-case like Kehlani just so he could say that he “tried” to date a Black chick, point to that relationship, and prove how disastrously it worked out for him.
Meanwhile, Iggy Azalea gets a champion – and that’s better than Keyshia Cole can say about her first marriage.
They’d be an equally-yoked tabloid pair.
A Jay Z & Beyoncé for post-racial set.