Is a “Fan” a Dick Rider?


I think the first important distinction to make is between somebody that’s a “fan” and somebody that’s in love.

Love, if you don’t know, haven’t listened, haven’t been in or don’t believe, is blind. Therefore, for a person in love, the object of that love, is always perfect. Even if the object is flawed, the fact that the flawed particulars make up a composite whole renders those flaws perfect.

Meanwhile, being a fan, more often than not, means – aside from the fact that it’s root word is “fanatic” – that you are not happy.

Unless the object that you’re a fan of just – and I mean seconds ago – won a championship, Oscar, Grammy, Pulitzer, or whatever other top prize, you thinking of all the improvements that need to be made so they can win said awards.

You’re wishing you had an audience with the object of your fanhood just so you could suggest said improvements.

Like I said, odds are, if you’re a fan, you’re pissed.

For example, I’m a Knicks fan.

And while yeah, we just pulled a coup in signing Courtney Lee, we got Joakim Noah and traded for Derrick Rose, already have Kristaps Porzigis and thankfully, Carmelo Anthony, why the fuck did we hire Jeff Hornacek to coach when Mark Jackson is available and what in the world are we gonna do as far as youth?

Also, we need goons now.

We need the kind of talent-free dangerous psychopaths that come in and hurt people who Knick General Manager Phil Jackson should be intimately familiar with because, quite frankly, he was one.

Similarly. I’m a Jay Z fan, he’s my favorite MC ever and while I’d argue till I was out of wind that Hov’s made 3 classic albums, I’d never try to defend the unforgivable dreck that was Hard Knock Life or Magna Carter: Holy Grail.

What’s tragic, however, about these “me” times is that you can’t express support for anybody, team or cause without being accused of “dick riding”.

A guy can’t say Drake is the goat without his very manhood being questioned.

That’s crazy.

Still, like I said, uncritical support is not being a fan.

As a fan, you can give a fair assessment of the thing you support; where it’s strong and where it lacks.

In many ways, being a fan of something is better than loving it.

Love allows for no such criticism.

Love is, in that way, sadly, like dick riding.

The dick rider – and I hate to use Beyonce fans or the “Beyhive” as an example but, shit, they do actually have a nickname for their level of obsession – can’t like or dislike; they can only love and like.

So for the Beyhive, there’s only Beyonce songs that they love and Beyonce songs that they like.

All this considered, it perhaps should be argued that instead of looking for love, when it’s time to marry, young men and women should actual search for people that they’re “fans” of.

This way, while being unequivocally supportive, they could offer criticism, help, and additional viewpoints; whatever they felt necessary to make their side win.

If your man picks up garbage or your lady does hair, you’ve gotta want them to be the best.

Otherwise, you’re in love or a dick rider and how does that help anybody?

About the Author


Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town.

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