How Draymond Green Became “Draymond Blacc”


Make no mistake: the dick pic is the most taboo thing in American culture if not culture worldwide.

Think about it, you’ve probably seen just about every hot, young actresses’ tits and ass but how many star actors’ cocks can you just draw to mind?

Maybe Jason Segel from Losing Sarah Marshall.

Harvey Keitel from The Piano.

And trust me, I’m really thinking hard (pardon the pun) about this and that’s about all that comes (another pun, sorry) to mind.

The reason for this is simple; while it’s nothing for men, who do perhaps have an unequal say in the shaping and standards of what we’ve come to consider “the mainstream”, to objectify women to the extent that an ideal is created which causes all those that don’t measure up to said ideal to feel less than, those same men would never subject themselves to being put in a position where it became evident that they didn’t measure up in certain ways.

In other words, if I’m a movie studio boss with a little dick, I’m not gonna put some big dick actor’s cock on screen for everybody to desire.

It’s just not happening.

I didn’t become a boss for that.

This shortcoming, ahem, of course, has not at all been without a backlash.

John Lennon famously posed naked with his wife for their Two Virgins album cover and the response was, well, predictable.

Since then, of course, the nude male selfie has taken over and everybody from Chris Brown, to Kanye, to Anthony Weiner, to Brett Farve, to yours truly has at least snapped a shot of their junk in hopes – let’s be honest – of some sort of penile stardom.

Now NBA All-star, 1-time Champion, USA Men’s Basketball team member and Golden State Warrior Draymond Green has joined the fray by “accidentally” (he claims he was hacked) posting a pick of his dick on Snapchat – which, of course, caused it to blow up on Twitter (click at your own risk).

Another little secret that unless you’re a man, you’re probably unfamiliar with, is that when you’re young (and sometimes, old enough to be convicted for it) you just love for people to see your dick!

You want opinions on it.

You want feedback.

Hell, you only learn of it’s value or lack thereof by what you hear about it.

And you don’t hear much unless somebody sees it.

And nobody sees it if it’s in your pants all day every day.

I myself, honorable man and upright citizen, used to walk around with my dick literally dragging on the ground.

I just couldn’t keep the thing in my pants, I wanted it to be spotted so badly.

But all this went down when I was a child.

There’s absolutely no excuse for a grown man to behave that way.

So what you see with the proliferation of dick pics is not, in fact, a new phenomenon, just technology, as usual, adding a new twist to a very old tradition.

That understood, don’t think for a minute that Draymond Green hasn’t internalized absolutely everything he’s heard said or read written about his dick.

And if somebody had the temerity to say something like “that thing oughta be in porn”, believe me, it was music to his ears.

About the Author

Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town. Also:

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