As Malia Parties, Sasha Keeps Score


You can bet every dollar in your pocket that younger Presidential daughter Sasha Obama is keeping very close tabs on what her older sister’s been up to as of late.

She’s like, “A year off before college… ok. Oh, a trip to Lollapalooza, hmmm… And twerking! Eh! Nice! This spliff I’ve been carrying in my bag shouldn’t get me in no trouble then, huh?”

As anybody who either has siblings or multiple kids knows, as much as everybody wants to be treated as individuals, that individual treatment is also measured against the treatment of others.

Therefore, irrational shit can happen like, say your brother is a basketball star and you don’t even play basketball, you  might find yourself asking your parents why they don’t come to your games like they go to your brother’s.

Similarly, as I look at the Obama girls, the one I would have expected to the the “wild child” would have certainly been Sasha, the younger.

Not only do her softer features make her just look more fun than her more classically “pretty” older sister, but while her older sister Malia seems to have inherited their father’s long slim build, Sasha seems poised, almost destined to get more of Michelle’s, uh, uh, uh…

And that could mean trouble.

Up until this weekend, the Obama girls have done a terrific job of presenting themselves as a sort of “united front” in sisterhood that maybe only somebody with a sibling knew had to be bullshit.

Not only are they not twins, but a full three years separates the girls.

Therefore, while the interests of one may not be totally alien to those of the other, the likelihood is that older Malia is on some entirely other shit than lil sis.

I mean, this ain’t Almost Famous where young William Miller is so sheltered he has to be gifted with contemporary musical taste by his sister.

It’s actually a safe bet that if Malia likes Bryson Tiller, then just to be different, Sasha likes Desiigner.

And who’s to say, they both could like Drake or both could not like Drake.

Growing up, there were times when my own younger brother and my tastes totally overlapped, like, we both found the first two Jungle Brothers albums completely superior, but when he got off into the Circle Jerks, I thought he’d become possessed.

And this disparity continued for years.

Not too very long ago in fact, he came up to me raving, “Dickie, I just bought this Marvin Gaye’s greatest hits album or something, I don’t know exactly what it is, but it’s got all his good songs on it and it’s called What’s Going On.”

Very slowly, I explained to him, “That’s one album, man. It just happened to have that many great songs on it.”

The one thing we were always united on, however, was our shared father’s totally obtuse tastes.

And not only in music, but in clothes.

This is, of course, where the Obama girls will reunite should anything rend them asunder as far as interests or even petty sibling rivalries.

I mean, we know Barack and Michelle as the POTUS and the FLOTUS, but to the sisters, they’re just mom and dad.

And no matter how cool the Pres and wife seem to us, if they’re as good at being parents as we imagine, then to their daughters, they could never seem cool.

About the Author

Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town. Also:

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