Why R. Kelly Married Aaliyah


There’s this economic principle called “The Law of Diminishing Returns“.

What it suggests is that no matter how much you love a thing, as you get more and more of it, it becomes a compulsion and you actually love it less and less.

Like, if you’re starving and you eat a slice of pizza, the pizza’s amazing; the next slice, still good but not as amazing, the third slice ok, and by the fourth slice you’re just eating because it’s there.

Similarly, while nobody with a right mind or ears on their head could deny the absolutely awesome talent of one Aaliyah Dana Haughton, you’d be a fool to think that it was because of that talent, R. Kelly was so compelled to marry her at the too-tender age of 15.


R. Kelly was on some asshole shit when he did that.

He knew, he had to know that while her talents were briefly entrusted to him exclusively, those same talents were so significant that under the influence of almost any credible musical authority, they would blossom.

Consider the sonic difference between the Kelly-influenced Age Ain’t Nothing But a Number and the Timbaland-directed One in a Million.

The best Kelly could produce with Aaliyah was a haunting retake on the old Isley Brothers classicthe old Isley Brothers classic “At Your Best.”

Meanwhile, Timabaland reconfigured R&B entirely by adding power to the slow-jam love ballad with title song “One in a Million”.

And the differences in the rest of both albums goes right along the line.

So how is R. Kelly an asshole Dickie Bhee?

Well, like I said, Kelly must be credited with recognizing that Aaliyah’s talent was something that would eventually break through no matter who was at the helm.

But whereas if he’d lived out the rest of his life as a series of varying incidents, the fact that this guy kept fucking young girls is proof that he had issues on that front for which we might have been able to forgive him if we could have believed they were a one-time thing that happened because he was so consumed with the dynamic individualism of Aaliyah.

But we can’t believe that because we’ve watched this dude over the years.

If it hadn’t been her, it would have been some other young girl.

In fact, it was her and it was other young girls.

And I’m gonna take the low road here and suggest that R. Kelly knew the marriage would fail; he knew he’d eventually lose her, but he wanted something on paper that would prove that at one point, he’d actually had her.

Aaliyah was so young and her talent was so immense that it almost begged for her to see more, learn more and do more to cultivate it.

So, just as a matter of one-upsmanship, just to be able to say shit, just so that when her name came up he could snicker and knowingly in a way that let people that might not know that he knew something, R. Kelly married her.

He contented himself with the role of starter-husband.

I’ve heard it argued that dudes don’t really wanna fuck women, they actually wanna have fucked women.

And dudes like R. Kelly give that position it’s grounding.


About the Author


Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town.
Also: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01E7NYMP4

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