When White Privilege Demands Black Dick

If Odell Beckham Jr. can’t date who the fuck he wants (I think he’s into guys {just kidding [or am I?]}), and Lena Dunham, talented star and writer of the HBO series Girls, but also a bloated pig of a bitch who I wouldn’t even fuck unless I was as broke as I am (Lena, holla at me!), then Jim Crow is at least certainly still alive and OBJ best to hop down on one knee and beg apologies of Missy Anne.

Or Lena, how bout this, OBJ’s dated Zendaya, bitch!

zen

Not my personal cup of tea, but I’d add some sugar to it before I dragged your fat white ass out with my own money.

What is it with you white girls? Yes, some of y’all are fine. But not everybody wants your stankin asses. Some white dudes don’t even want y’all. But, like I said, some of y’all are fine.

Holla at me.

But Odell Beckham Jr. doesn’t have to pick up strays. If I were him, I’d bump Drake – who looks vulnerable – and give Rihanna a twirl.

But didn’t you hear?

Rihanna offered, he turned her down.

Did you read that Lena?

He turned Rihanna down.

RihRih

EXACTLY my cup of tea.

So who the fuck do you think you are?

Turning down Rihanna right now is like turning down LeBron.

No thanks, we’re all set at forward. We are, however, in the market for a third-string point guard.

It doesn’t happen.

But Beckham did it and you’re expecting me to believe that he had some sort of responsibility to date you.

Why?

Why exactly?

Because you’re talented?

Are you better than Rihanna? Are you better even than Ava DuVernay?

Here’s what you said about your “ordeal”: “I was sitting next to Odell Beckham Jr., and it was so amazing because it was like he looked at me and he determined I was not the shape of a woman by his standards.

What, bitch?

Yo, what’s with our pale brothers and sisters and rejecting Black freedom as of late? Colin Kaeperinick is supposed to be free and so are lots of other niggas.

Or, how bout this: what can often look like rejection on the outside, is actually postponement till a later date.

A day may indeed eventually come when OBJ is drunk, stoned, or there’s a a gun to his head.

That’s the thing about fucking; sometimes it doesn’t happen when you planned.

The only thing you really need to be careful about is coming across like a nigga’s obligated to kick it to you.

I mean, OBJ is, by Black standards, a Top Choice dude. Ask Black Women. They love the guy.

And let’s not act like there wasn’t a Jezebel column entitled “What kind of Guy Does Lena Dunham Deserve?” because pissed off white women were furious that even in fiction you could imagine yourself getting fucked by someone has hot as Patrick Wilson.

There are lots of women that would argue that OBJ is hotter than Patrick Wilson.

Hell, I’d argue that OBJ is hotter than Patrick Wilson.

wendy

To suggest that a man shouldn’t have a choice of whether or not he’d like to deal with you intimately absolute reeks when that man is Black.

It’s what got Tom Robinson murked in To Kill a Mockingbird.

kill

And you’re a literary type, baby, you should know that.

About the Author

dickiebhee

Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town.
Also: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01E7NYMP4

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