Bobby Shmurda and Why You NEVER Take a Plea Deal


Ok, before I even start, I need to amend my subject line.

The truth is, there is one circumstance where a plea deal works: if you’d had every intention to plead guilty anyway.

If your conscious or your soul or you got religion or whatever and you decided that the only way that you could make good would be to go to jail, then you might consider a plea deal.

I wrote the word “might” because if you’re such a fucking lunatic that you would actually plead guilty in court, shit, you might just wanna serve out your full sentence!

For everyone else, follow me:

Some years back, I got me and the great Tone Fresh literally thrown out of a precinct jail in Baltimore. We’d been accused of starting a riot and to make a too long story too brief, the bottom line was, everybody was just tired of me fucking screaming.

“THIS IS BULLSHIT!” was about the sum total of my rant but it also included, when occasioned, specifics.

And it was bullshit. The white cop that had arrested us had been in plain clothes, had never identified himself as a cop, and when the squad of goonies dropped down and descended upon us, we were never formally arrested just herded off in the squad van.

I wore that whole precinct out that night, cop and con alike, yelling to the top of my voice with righteous indignation.

The only thing I will say as far as Bobby Shmurda is concerned is that if he didn’t have similar indignation, he damn sure should have faked some.

Have we learned nothing from Max B?

And look at what they’re taking Bobby down on, giving him 7 years as part of a plea and the biggest charge on the whole thing is conspiracy.

How the fuck do you prove a conspiracy?

That’s basically just somebody else’s word against yours.

Even if they’ve got you on a phone saying “I’d like to buy some cocaine and guns,” you could always argue that “cocaine” and “guns” are code words, you know, “street terms” so popular among Negroes, for “candy” and “soda”.

Bobby Schmurda is a musician and even though I was never too crazy about “Hot Nigga” – haven’t been able to rock with songs that boast about killing Black people for a minute – there is no way that my musicianship wouldn’t have been on the very front and every other line of my defense.

“I am a musician! Why have I been arrested, why am I being held, what are these bogus charges?”

Bobby’s problem, aside from the fact that he took a plea, might have been that he acted “caught” or “scared” in court.

This is understandable among the guilty, but I never did dig too tough why some innocents get nervous before a judge.

When you’re innocent and you’re standing before a judge, you should be angry.

There are certainly other things you could be doing; productive things, money making things, and you’re standing before a judge?

But, unfortunately, maybe Bobby was trying make his real life a little too similar to his rap life.

That “Hot Nigga” of which is spoke, that caught “bodies” and all that, is exactly the type that’s a killer on the street and a pussy in the court.

Thing is, I don’t think Bobby’s a “Hot Nigga”. I think he’s a MC. And him going to jail because he raps a certain way is precisely as absurd as sentencing Al Pacino for the crimes of Tony Montana.

About the Author

Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town. Also:

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