Kate Upton Has Big Tits, Cam Newton Gets His Head Beat In and Why America’s Race Relations are Better than Ever!

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Growing up with a mother that patiently explained the “dumb-blonde” phenomenon, I wasn’t at all surprised that Sports Illustrated “super” model Kate Upton found not standing for the flag as a way of protest by the Miami Dolphins “unacceptable”.

The cliche would be for me to say that I’d love to hear her opinion on the cops shooting unarmed Black people, but the truth is, I’d probably rather not.

Still, the part that makes it really, really funny is her notion that the protesters should have somehow suspended (italics mine) Sunday’s protest due to the fact that it was 9/11.

Yeah Kate, and strikers should only go on strike during their lunch breaks, wars should only be fought on weekdays between 9-5 and babies should only be born at noon.

Next.

The majority of Cam Newton’s problems would be solved if he shut the fuck up. This is my third time writing that.

Someone must have once told him he was either clever or colloquial and since then he’s seemed to be trying to live up to that image.

The problem is, nothing signifies a crisis of self-esteem better than an overabundance of loquaciousness.

And now that he seems to be at pains to explain everything, even why it’s cool for the Denver Broncos to treat his head like a pinata when helmet-to-helmet hits are and have been illegal and any other quarterback in the league would have drawn a roughing penalty at least against the defense, expect the league to have no mercies or sympathies for the fool they now believe would apologize to even his own lynchers.

Shut up, Cam. The media is not your friend. In fact, they’re using every single thing you say against you. Wanna talk? Win The Chip. Then, never stop talking.

Ali bomaye, nigga.

Finally, I for one can’t see how so many people seem to having a problem with the current state of American race relations.

To me, they’re better than they’ve ever been.

You shoot a nigga nowadays, you’ll have 75,000 mothafuckas turn up in your town ready to burn that bitch to the ground.

That’s fantastic!

A far cry and a great improvement from the days when we used to take shit like that with a quivering upper lip, glad it wasn’t us this time but terrified that it just might be the next.

The reality is – and it’s really sad if I have to explain this to you – Black people have been getting disproportionately killed, ripped off, hijacked, screwed, run over, run through, disrespected, clowned, buttfucked and side-eyed since we were dragged to this bitch with promises of a good, Christian indoctrination.

Now that it appears that we’ve finally had enough and our responses to such outrages have been anything but subtle, you would think that those who complain would at least appreciate the honesty.

And that’s what we’re seeing. An honest response to injustice. We’ve showed you mothafuckas everything else from self-immolation to Gandhi/King-like nonviolence and you didn’t respect any of that shit.

If you don’t respect our honesty now, well, we might hafta get even more honest.

About the Author

dickiebhee
Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town. Also: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01E7NYMP4

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