Wanna Kill Cops as Pay Back? I’ve Got a Better Idea


It’s probably due to selective reading – or maybe they just stopped after they came to a part that they liked? – that so many people are quick to cite the bible’s “eye-for-eye” verse as justification for feeling murderous toward American law enforcement.

Sure, they’ve been killing up bunches of Black people – unarmed and otherwise – but if you’d gone a bit further in your text, you’d notice that none other than Jesus himself came along to say when confronted with a potential “eye-for-eye” situation, “turn to them the other cheek also“.

And who are we to question Jesus’ random reassignment of the human anatomy?

Remember, at 12, he was in the temple teaching doctors.

So maybe he knew something that we (still) don’t.

Anyway, what turning guns on the police would more likely do than easing tensions between them and the Black community would be exacerbate the problem turning the situation into outright war.

And while that may be cool, Young Nigga, if in your glory, you know that you can handle a war with the cops, remember, it would be the entire race labeled “enemy combatants” so you couldn’t at all be surprised if your mama caught a hot one and was thus considered collateral damage.

It’s for this reason that what I would suggest is that any Black people with murderous revenge on their minds should wait till the news of the next and sadly, inevitable murder of a Black person by the police and then go out and film themselves killing a puppy.

It could also be a cat, but whatever it is, make sure that it’s cute.

And don’t be an animal about it. Don’t turn ISIS and slit it’s throat or beat it to death.

Make sure you have a gun, pet it to get it feeling safe, secure and obedient, then just put a couple in its head.

Be aware tho: you’re probably hafta start your own website to air the footage.

I’m sure such a thing would violate both YouTube and Facebook’s terms of service, while interestingly enough, the videos of any of the Black men filmed being murdered by the cops are readily available and I can also go to YouTube to watch the daytime assassination of an American President.

Now, bible thumpers should have no problem at all with killing dogs because they know better than anybody that man was given “dominion” – meaning we can whatever the fuck we want – over animals.

The rest of America would just have to deal with the dual hypocrisy of knowing that they found themselves beyond outrage at the fact that someone was out there killing small animals while they could watch Black people being murdered by he police with barely an upturned eyebrow and that America consumes 200 billion in fast food a year meaning it’s clearly ok with some animals being killed.

Sadly however, the bottom line is, even if this post were serious, certain animals are so disproportionately beloved in America that the minute some maniac or group of “righteous” maniacs started posting videos of themselves killing puppies, not only would the motivation for their actions be totally ignored – Colin Kaepernick, I see you! – but a call would go out for their arrest and conviction that was more strenuous than any in the history of our nation, including the call that went out for retribution in the wake of 9/11.

And once arrested, expect all involved to face life in prison, possibly even he death penalty.


Niggas you can kill.

But puppies?

Nigga, please!

About the Author

Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town. Also: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01E7NYMP4

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