Nicki Minaj Twerks or the Night Ass Jumped the Shark


As much as it pains me to have to admit this, or maybe, who knows, this was somehow doomed to be a natural step in my evolution, I think I’m finally losing my taste for big, monstrous asses!

Now, this of course, doesn’t mean I’m over my thing for fat bitches. They and they alone can still have the aforementioned donks.

But while I sat on the sidelines about fake tits figuring it wasn’t my fight and let the Kardashians and the first few proofs of fake booties roll because, hey, the way I saw it, I ain’t really fuck with white girls too tough anyway, now that a Black superstar like Minaj, who I’ve long suspected of having a fake butt, takes to flaunting it in the absolute most extreme manner – twerking live and onstage – at last night’s Tidal concert, for some reason I feel some sort of way.

And make no mistake, not of all of my women have had ass. They’ve all been Black except for two, and those weren’t at all “my women” they were just…

But now, somewhere between Naomi Wolf and David Carroll, I’m wondering what have we got Black women thinking? That they must have ass? That they’re not women or, more specifically, they’re not Black women without it?

That would be madness.

And I know this more specifically and better than most because I come from a no-ass family on both sides and everybody’s Black.

Aggressively Black.

I’m talking about folks that would have said to Nat Turner, “Nigga, lets get bombs.”

But while about 1/2 of my family members are light-skinned and, like I said, none of them have ass, if they’d have even begun to be told that either one of those qualities restricted their access to genuine Blackness, the person that attempted to tell them would have felt those words die in his or her throat right before he or she died.

I mean, shit, we wonder about what message Trump is sending to our daughters, what message does this presumed need for ass via plastic surgery send them?

Haven’t we by now learned that the all-time sexiest personal attribute is confidence?

That you can Frankenstein a Khloe Kardashian and still, buried somewhere under there is Khloe Kardashian.

We’ve almost reached the point where, like in the NBA with its oversaturation of tattoos that it’s the player with the bare arms that’s now shocking, it’s now becoming a situation – Alicia Keys aside because makeup or not, she still has a phat ass – where the woman with no surgical alterations is the freak.

I’ve seen pics of a pre-alleged surgery Nicki Minaj and like a pre-debauchery Lil Kim, she was a cutie.


She may have felt the need to become extreme because extreme was the impact that she wanted to have on the game but when is enough, enough?

More importantly, when have you gone too far?

Maybe when somebody like me, connoisseur that I am – I mean, I’ve got a “Big Booties” category on my web page! – writes something like this: think I’ll get myself a skinny chick…

About the Author

Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town. Also:

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