I’ll never forget: I had just finished doing laundry and was standing on Lafayette Avenue in Brooklyn when this cute little brown-skinned joint walked up to me.
She was like, “Hi.”
I was like, “Hi.”
She was like, “I just wanted to let you know that I think you’re a very attractive guy.”
I was like, “Uh… ok.”
Truth is, I was shook daddy.
I mean, she scared the shit outta me!
I was like, what the fuck?
And don’t get me wrong, when you’re the illustrious, hyper-sexy Dickie Bhee, you’re used to women approaching you, it’s just that you’re not used to them being so straight forward.
It’s just that you realize that much like a Bad Bitch – which I probably also am – you’re used to women using game.
Like that unbelievably fine dark-skinned joint in the club in DC that night.
Or the bad light-skinned joint that pretended to be mad at me cause I grabbed some other chick by the arm and not her.
Those were genuine conversation starters. But to just come right out and say that you think that I’m attractive?
Way too much honesty.
All of a sudden I starting seeing faults in the chick like her eyes were too crazy or maybe she was a little bit too short.
The title, nigga! What does any of this have to do with the title?
Oh, well, yes, of course!
One of the counter-complaint I’ve heard about the women now accusing Donald Trump and those that have accused Bill Cosby of sexual harassment and sexual assault is that Don and Bill were just “men being men”.
That the pursuit of women naturally includes several “icebreakers” of which sometimes light touching is considered and that only by today’s aggressively feminized standards could even possibly be considered “assault”.
The men that forward these arguments also usually agree that American manhood is already in a precarious state and that feminism, in the guise of empowering women, is actually emasculating men.
Add to that the fact that the likes of a Cosby or a Trump are powerful, successful men and therefore eager, hopeful young women that encounter them have to know that when bartering for any potential favors, their very bodies are on the bargaining table.
Well, the first argument goes out the window because even pimps have the courtesy to actually let the women choose.
If you’re funny enough or endearing enough, she’ll grab a forearm or shoulder, my dude. In the meantime, calm yo ass down.
The second argument is also lacking especially in a country with nuclear capabilities because you’d figure if we could advance technologically due to the threat of war then in an (alleged) gender war, if women are indeed advancing, why then should men have stopped?
In other words, step your game up.
And the last argument is perhaps the faultiest because lets say that certain young women did approach Cosby or Trump for favors and even implied that their bodies would be the exchange rate.
Wouldn’t it have made more sense to deny the need for an exchange while still accommodating the favor so that if, out of gratitude or genuine interest, said female ended up fucking you anyway, there’s no way it could be suggested that there were any improprieties or coercing?
The last five words in 2 Corinthians chapter 9 verse 7 speaks on how The Lord feels about you should approach the prospect of doing favors.
Meanwhile, quid pro quo is some Latin shit.
And who still speaks that?