Well, there finally is a Black Kardashian and the only way it would have ever been possible too.
Well, no, that’s not fair. Kim, Kourtney or Khloe could have had an illegitimate that the father didn’t claim and it would be so.
Still, Blac Chyna and Rob’s new baby Dream is poised to be something very distinct and unique: a child with the last name “Kardashian” that doesn’t necessarily respond to the dictates of Kris.
This could cause problems.
That name is her brand.
It’s like if Mike had to watch some scrub, a guy up from the D League on a 10-day contract, a guy not even getting in except for garbage time and then needing the whole arena to mockingly chant his name before the coach even concedes and puts him in, wear the original red and black Jordan 1’s, the ones without even the Jumpman logo, that’s how Kris’ll feel the minute one of her little “suggestions” about what to do with little Dream goes unheeded.
Speaking of sneakers and Jordan – and believe me, I wasn’t planning on this neat of a segue, it troubles me almost to no end that it was revealed that New Balance welcomed Donald Trump.
As you guys know, I’m somewhat of a psychotic runner.
I’m doing 7 miles a morning now (on the treadmill; let me not act like I’m Prefontaine) and the last time I was on the phone with my mother she asked me – for maybe the millionth time – what my favorite running shoe was cause she runs too and I told her New Balance because it is/was.
It’s actually New Balance, followed by Adidas, followed by Reebok followed by Nike and not followed by Puma whose clothes I love but whose logo gets in the way of any constructive running.
The irony of New Balance endorsing Trump here particularly as it relates to Michael Jordan is that Jordan is very famously accused of having said “Republicans buy sneakers too” when asked to support Harvey Gantt for North Carolina senate over alleged racist Jesse Helms.
And you would think that based on that, sneaker companies would know enough to be non-committal politically at least on a corporate level.
I mean, who do those fools at New Balance think is running anyway except for fitness crazed libs and intellectuals.
Red states are full of people that deliberately don’t run because they’re known for carrying guns.
Last, I can’t shake the feeling that part of the reason that Hillary lost is because we’re a sick, sadistic nation and so many of us know how badly she wanted to be president and it filled us with the kind of joy that maybe only the Marquis de Sade can related to when he’s fresh from the bloody violation of a former maiden.
Well, if I were HIllary, the first thing I’d do was throw on a pair of jeans. Then I’d get real thin, wear open collared white shirts and a straw hat pushed far back on my head, keep something in my mouth like either a branch of hay or a blunt and look kinda wan, but in cowboy way, not in a sickly way.
I’d give the impression that for all intents and purposes I’d given up on politics, like Napoleon at Elba or my man Richard Milhous when he uttered his infamous “You won’t have Nixon to kick around any more“.
That would get them to drag me into the 2020 campaign kicking and screaming.
Then they’d force me to be President.
And that’s what I’d end up being too.