I hate to be a cynic but I’ve been alive long enough to know when something looks like it stinks and, although niggas, America’s usual boogeymen, seem to have been left off the hook in the case of Sherri Papini, the 34 year-old Northern California mom of two that went missing after a jog back on November 2nd only to turn up tied up 150 miles away yesterday, forgive me for not rushing to believe that things all went down like she claims.
Call me cold-hearted or a pragmatic realist. You’d probably be right in each case.
But even when news of this thing broke it struck me as funny. My actual first thought was, if she says that Black people are behind this, not only is she’s lying, but she’s using this whole abduction thing to cover up an affair.
She ran off with some dude, came to her senses, decided to go home, but needed a story.
Sorta like what you suspect would have happened eventually with Nicole Kidman’s character in Eyes Wide Shut if she had, indeed, run off with that young Naval Officer.
Then I read that Ms. Papini alleged “kidnappers” were not only “Hispanic” but two women.
And make no mistake, if Ms. Papini’s story is, indeed, true, fuck me dead, I’m rotten, ashamed of myself in advance and may my blog be forever banned from The Vatican.
But since Americans as a whole are like a nation filled with Ian Fleming readers who naturally prefer their villains to be anything but White, Anglo-Saxon Protestants, the casting of people of color as foils would make perfect sense for a liar.
Like I wrote before, Peyton Manning once did it.
Actually, Hispanic women is a nice twist when you consider that Black kidnappers from the door should be prima facie absurd because of the fact that outside Rick James’ crazy ass, you almost never hear of Black kidnappers, Black people thinking only in reference to themselves, pretty much believing that all life is worthless and preferably straight up going after cars and jewelry if they planned on stealing some shit.
Moreover, the only time you really heard of Black people associated with kidnapping, it was during the cowboy, drug dealing 80s when more even to be sadistic than for the hood riches they seemingly sought to acquire, psychotic idiots kidnapped the likes of Rich Porter‘s younger brother.
And, of course, as kidnapping victims, well, shit, I’ve heard the whole diaspora described as a “kidnapping”.
Then, of course, there’s Tawana Brawley.
She got Black sympathies because of the fact that there both is and was indeed a history of white men that raped young Black women and girls but the “evidence”, if that’s ever to be believed, points to the idea that she didn’t wanna get in trouble for breaking curfew and tied herself in that bag full of shit after writing “Nigger” on her own body in magic marker.
Hope they find Ms. Papini’s “kidnappers” if they exist.
And really, I hope they exist.