Ghosts, Jesus & Other Niggas You Run into When You’re On Drugs


I believe in everything.

Saves a lot of time.

Ghosts, Vampires, Werewolves, UFOs, you ask me, I’ll be giving you back “yeah”s so fast you’d think I was doing both Sam Cooke and Lou Rawls’ parts on “Bring It On Home to Me“.

I think it’s a bit arrogant to presume to know for certain what is and what is not when I haven’t been around since the beginning of days and I’ve only stood where I’ve stood when I’ve stood there.

Being a ghost would suck.

Imagine: niggas getting their dicks sucked, winning NBA Championships and you just have to sit around and watch.

That would have to be some variation of Hell, wouldn’t you think?

And how much do you think you could really do?

Think you could lift some shit?


You fucking ghost.

At best, you could give a nigga a paper cut. Let’s say his attention lapses and you’re a vindictive bastard, you could sorta jam his finger along the edge of the page.

That would probably suck too for you tho because you’d probably miss even pain.

But lets say that while in the flesh, you had a particularly strong spirit or what some people call a soul or will.

Think you could take over a whole body?

Of course, readers know that that’s exactly what they say happens when you drink or do drugs. It’s why historically, liquor was called “spirits“.

It’s suggested that any breach in sobriety opens the door for at least a power struggle between your own and a rootless spirit.

Can you imagine how much rootless spirits miss the physical?

Might explain why drunks are so horny and food tastes so good while you’re high.

This, to me, is a pretty interesting idea, the alternative, being of course, that we’re all simply a series of firing synapses responding solely to biochemical input.

You know, crazy talk.

I’ve actually seen auras and felt atmospheric changes in the presence of dominant people.

It’s also suggested that if you’re dead and somebody says your name, you’re summoned to their side.

This must make Jesus the busiest muhfucca in the history of mankind.

And he must be forced to show up at a bunch of shit he really ain’t wanna see.

And it’s fucked up because he seems like he was a nice dude, maybe a bit of an asshole in person but his heart was in the right place; always feeding or healing somebody.

You imagine that his spirit was strong enough to do all kindsa shit; except save his ass 2G ago.

But for believers, he still seems to be there when they need him.

Which brings us back to ghosts: absolutely between that shit and there being nothing I would choose nothing.

The last thing I’d want is to be forced to follow around a bunch of people I didn’t like while powerless to get back at them.

Or is that my life now?

Which would place me in Hell.

Is it too late, you think, for Jesus?

And maybe a little more weed?


About the Author


Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town.

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