You know they say that Marilyn Monroe was a spy.
Fucking, as she allegedly did, both Kennedy brothers was supposedly subterfuge while she gathered information for the KGB.
Never mind the “dumb blonde” routine – well educated newspaper contributor Lincoln Perry rocked his “Stepin Fetchit” thing to the tune of millions – Marilyn also reportedly had an IQ of 168 and, aside from Joe DiMaggio, was once married to literary titan Arthur Miller.
Then again, they also say that Monica Lewinsky was a Right Wing plant.
But while the Marilyn-as-a-spy theory seems plausibly dubious, the notion that Bill Clinton’s gluttonous ass actually needed somebody to plant a big-bottom girl in his general vicinity before he “sprung” – pardon the pun – into action, strikes me as ridiculous.
Still, the one thing you’ve always gotta give Dollar Bill, he knows where his bread is buttered.
Unlike President-elect Trump, who’s on his third marriage and former General David Petraeus, who Trump’s now considering for Secretary of State, hoes knew where they stood under the, ahem, Clinton Administration.
I ain’t telling you shit, bitch and if Hillary finds out, she’s killing us both!
This is what’s called “good government”.
And I’m almost embarrassed for Donald Trump that he would even consider another whore in his cabinet when he so clearly is whore enough for an entire nation.
As only the 2nd divorced President ever after Reagan, Trump switches loves so fast you’d almost imagine that if some beautiful new country offered him a kingship, he’d flat-leave America to rule for life.
And Petraeus is a disaster.
It takes a special kinda man to be unfaithful and at the same time functional.
Kobe Bryant ain’t that type and neither is David Petraeus or Donald “Grab her by the pussy” Trump.
Bill “hard dick and bubblegum” Clinton was and wisely, perhaps even remembering the last time two whores were in the same cabinet, Kennedy and Johnson, one of them, the former and at the time, President, got murked, picked straight-edge Al Gore as a running mate taking things as far as two terms.
Gore’s own Presidential aspirations sadly imploded in 2000 and he’s since divorced and, from what I’ve heard, is currently trying a bit of hoing himself.
Which leads us back to Trump.
Everybody has a weakness but having women as one is terrifying.
A Pimp Hand isn’t something you’re born with.
There are already rumors that the Russians had too real an influence in the recent Presidential election and it’s easy to imagine that if President Trump should ever decide to forgo any and all ties with Putin and go his own way, some leggy Russian bimbo will turn up to suck the nuclear code out of him.
You think we could send that bozo overseas?
Man, that boob wouldn’t get as far as Jamaica before it’d be Norval Marley all over again; disgrace, scandal, ruin but on the bright side, a new biracial reggae guitar god.
Personally, I’m a fan of fidelity, so maybe I’m not a realist.
And since part of my advice to Hillary before 2020 would be to get bent, preferably by some younger dude – it’ll make her seem and be more laid back – I’m also hoping that for Secretary of State, Trump picks somebody with a personal morality like perhaps Jimmy Stewart’s Mr. Smith.
Or maybe another based-on fictional character, this one radically different from Trump in temperament, but frighteningly similar at least in name: