Why You THINK Keri Hilson is Prettier than Beyonce

Well, first of all, because she is.

Let’s just get that outta the way.

I remember right after Destiny’s Child came out not giving a damn about a Beyonce and thinking that the baddest member of the group was Kelly.


Meanwhile, when the “Knock You Down” video came out, Keri Hilson’s had me positively stuck.

And it wasn’t just all the ass cheek that seemed to be peaking out from beneath those blue boy shorts, Keri was so fine that I, Dickie Bhee; a man that lives his entire life like Hunter S. Thompson at the end of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, meaning I’m always sick enough to be totally confident, actually doubted if I’d be able to approach a chick that bad.


But is there that big a disparity between the looks of Beyonce and Keri Hilson, really?

The short answer is no.

Still, every time Keri Hilson makes an appearance or posts something on Snapchat,

the typical responses are like so:

Now of course, if there’s any actual beef between Ms. Hilson and Ms. Knowles-Carter, it dates back to the 2011 Soul Train Awards red carpet when Keri reused to do a “drop” for Juicy magazine because Beyonce was on the cover.

There’d been shade before in songs by each artist that could be interpreted as shots fired like in Keri’s “Turnin’ Me On” remix or Beyonce’s “Diva“, but this was direct.

So Ms. Hilson’s fans always seem to take it upon themselves to point out the one significant advantage that their star has over the more global phenomenon.

But, like I said, even this advantage isn’t that significant.

So why do some people seem to think that it is?

Well, like I’ve written before, I was an Econ major at my glorious HBCU.

And perhaps my favorite economic principal was the “Law of Diminishing Returns“.

My professor explained it like this: if you’re starving and somebody gives you a cheeseburger, you may think it’s the best cheeseburger you’ve ever eaten.

The next cheeseburger you have may be prepared the exact same way but it won’t taste as good.

The third cheeseburger, even if it’s prepared the same way, won’t taste as good as the first or second.

So in short, the reason that some people, Keri Hilson fans especially, believe there’s such a big difference in the looks of Ms. Hilson and Ms. Knowles-Carter is that whereas we rarely ever see Keri Hilson – she’s in a new movie if I’m not mistaken – Beyonce is ubiquitous.

Beyonce is, in fact, living the kind of lifestyle that’s consistent with the amount of fame she’s acquired and make no mistake, the amount of fame she’s acquired is directly proportionate to the ability she has as a singer, dancer, actress, entertainer and artist.

We are currently experiencing a Beyonce overload (I would have written “suffering through” instead of “experiencing” but the fact is, many of us are enjoying it – I am).

And with Jay Z as husband/Svengali, his play seems to be that instead of taking the Marvin Gaye route and popping onto the scene with a completely different musical perspective and sound every few years and every time out since the What’s Going On album, he’ll have B keep striking while hot and maybe cash out when or right before tastes change entirely.

We’ll see.

Sorry Keri fans, but Ms. Hilton ain’t touching The Queen as far as ability is concerned.

And even with the advantage in looks, it’s doubtful she’d beat her in a beauty contest.

They’ve got a “talent” portion in those things, remember?

About the Author


Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town.
Also: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01E7NYMP4

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