First E-Cigs Turned Against Us Now Cell Phones Have Gone Rogue: How Much Longer Before We Fight Back Against the Machines?


Unlike most of y’all muhfuccas that watch movies thinking “this is just a movie” I watch them shits thinking “so that’s what’s gonna happen”.

And the recent rash of machines “acting out” or even acting in the way they were designed to but making you question the design, is enough to give anyone pause who thinks beyond the superficial or the novelty.

The video of the E-Cig that exploded in that dude’s pocket may have only initially drawn a laugh from the non-smoking crowd.

Then iPhone users tried to enjoy a laugh because rapper CeeLo Green’s Samsung cell phone blew up in his face.

Then, when you stop and consider that it took the state of California to shut down Uber’s use of self-driving cars, you begin to see the eventuality of not only man’s uselessness, but his helplessness.

Now, I’m not one that necessarily subscribes to the doctrine that inanimate objects have both auras and souls, so I think an eventual conflict between man and machine would be one based in rationality.

The grim ultimatum that no one except the entertainment industry seemed to have accounted for is that as we continue to make machines that are, by technology’s terms at least, “smarter and smarter”, the machines themselves are eventually doomed to conclude that the flaws lie not in their own occasional glitches and bugs, but in their makers.

Not only that, as machines get closer and closer to that ultimate rationality, their tolerance for the irrational will become lower and lower.

All of us, almost every day see some nut we feel should be “locked away.”

So like we once took broken machines to the repair shop to be fixed, expect broken men to be lobotomized towards greater rationality.

The problem is, of course, even a lobotomized man isn’t totally rational.

Men fall in love, cheer for teams, dance to music.

Therefore, while ya’ll are deciding whether or not you’re entertained by flicks like The Terminator, The Matrix and Blade Runner, I’m wondering which of them shits comes closer to an eventual truth.

And I vary between believing that the fate of mankind will in fact be like The Matrix, if the machines can indeed find some value in our biochemical output, or like The Terminator, if it’s determined that, after having created them, we’re now totally worthless.

Or will some machines simply blend in with us to act as spies, like the replicants in Blade Runner.

And don’t sleep; it’ll be easier for this to happen than one might think.

I mean, look at what you guys are doing: you’re all reading, this makes you not only thinkers and intellectuals, but also exceptional.

You’re far different from the hunks of decaying gray matter sitting on sofas waiting for the commercials to end (or start).

That means you’ll be the most dangerous.

If an all-out war is ever eventually declared, you, and due to the help of some human Judases, will have the be the first to go.

The rest, if told to herd up into interment camps, will go without a complaint.

There’ll be a resistance, sure, but what are it’s chances, with only idiots left to fight?

The scariest part, however, is that you already know this to be true.

Still, you won’t shut off your cell phone and log offline for good even it it means saving the future of all mankind.

I guess at least you can say that you died on your own terms.



About the Author


Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town.

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