Trump’s Pathetic Pimp Hand & Other Topics We’ll No Longer Be Able to Avoid in 2017

“Bitch, who is you fuckin‘?” would have actually been the second question.

“Bitch, you lost yo Goddamn mind?” would have been the first.

That is, if our President-elect had a Pimp Hand of the Iceberg Slim, Bishop Don “Magic” Juan, Pimpin Ken variety.

The reason America’s had, to date, only one gay President is because we cherish the notion of our Top Men as heterosexual Dick Slingers; tolerable if their overly religious and only giving it to wifey, but preferably out quarterbacking that thing like LBJ, JFK, and Dollar Bill Clinton.

But giving it to wife – except maybe in Clinton’s case – is a must.

America also believes the old Don Corleone adage, edited for sex, that “A man that (doesn’t fuck his own wife too) can never be a real man.”

But we’re supposed to ignore that Donald Trump’s wife Melania plans to remain in New York even after her husband becomes President and allowing the excuse that she’s doing it so that the couple’s son, Barron, can stay in school?

Baby, they got schools in DC!

I know this for a fact.

I went to one.

It was an HBCU.

Nah, at best when she saw herself married to The Donald it was as the perpetual Queen of New York and can’t bear the idea of trading in the World’s Top Setting for the musty political confines of the Capital, at worse, she really does have a boyfriend, a guy who’s Fuck Game is so good she’s thinking of changing her last name to either Bovary or Karenina.

This guy just got elected to the nation’s highest office and he can’t even get his wife to come along for the ride?

That a candidate from the “Family Values” Republican party would let that fly is a disgrace.

And I’m surprised no half-awake Democrat has called him on it.

In other news, why don’t the Cleveland Cavaliers just let LeBron “rest” until Game 7 of the NBA Finals?

Like I’ve written before, the main thing keeping Bron from being “Like Mike” is that Mike had about 9 out of his 15 complete seasons during which he played in all 82 games.

Lebron, now in his 14th season, has none.

Jordan came into The League at 6’6″, 198; Lebron at 6’8″, 240.

Just from those numbers, if you were gonna bet on who’d end up being tougher, who would you go with?

Last, stop calling idiots like the Alt-Right “racist”.

“Racist” is not only an overused word, it’s trite and misses conveying an exact perspective.

Nowadays, a “racist”, has grown to mean simply somebody that likes their own group best.

Being racist in this sense doesn’t blind you to the fact that there are some people better both to you and for you than members of your own group.

No, what White Supremacists and anybody else that honestly believes in wholesale elitism based on ethnicity should be called is “racial absurdists”.

These are the folks that can’t see around race to determine value.

Take me for example; I’m a racist, but not a racial absurdist.

I’m a Knicks fan and as such, Kristaps Porzingis is our best player by a landslide.

If I were a racial absurdist, I’d want him traded for any Black player available.

As it is, if you’re not coming off Steph Curry, Kevin Durant and some draft picks, don’t even talk to me.

About the Author

Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town. Also:

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