If you’re geezer enough to remember Mariah Carey from her Vision of Love days, then you probably also remember thinking, damn, that white girl’s got a voice. And he’s cute too.
Then, when you found out that she wasn’t white, you thought to yourself, well that explains the voice, but how come then she ain’t got no ass?
And make no mistake, though arbiter of the cutting edge that I, Dickie Bhee, pride myself on being, I can only be where I am at the time that I’m there so, no, I didn’t actually catch Mariah Carey’s spectacular New Year’s Eve performance which has been widely and ridiculously panned while it should be praised, celebrated and delighted in.
Mariah was absolutely incredible.
First of all, everything went wrong around her.
Either there was no sound check, no walk-through, no preparation, or no nothing.
And what did Mariah do?
She was a total pro and gave us the three Bs; boozy, bossy, and bitchy.
And it’s good to see that since she’s become of advanced age (she’s either 46 or 47) that like the jazz/lounge act she was bordering on becoming and no matter how she’d handled things when she was younger and “hotter”, that now and like a true diva; like Aretha or Judy Garland maybe, her preferred method of self-medication before a big performance is to get sloshed.
And you actually hear her murmuring to the assistant/back-up dancer “Just get me down the stairs, nigga. Don’t start no shit.”
Then, as all hell is breaking loose, she’s still murmuring shit!
That’s a boss!
And there are times when you sense that all her instincts as a person are literally screaming at her to cut bait, bail, get the fuck outta there, but then it’s like she remembers who she is and absolutely refuses to.
That’s a bitch!
And the thing is, before just now seeing the whole thing, what I had seen, what glimpses I had got of her performance as they showed the highlights (or lowlights) again and again in a seeming quest to embarrass her, I couldn’t help but be struck by how ample her hip area seemed to be.
I was thinking, a butt job? At this age?
I mean, it was no secret to anyone who can see nearly as well on one day as they can on the next that she had had her tits done.
But that’s who she is, that’s where she’s from, the tit job era.
But the thing is, with Mariah, you were getting the sense that she was starting to look at even borderline contemporaries like Beyonce and saying to herself a well as hinting to them, “You still out there sluggin it out with them young girls like Rihanna, Gaga and Selena Gomez? Child, please. You need to get yourself a nice ballroom act, make your money, and find you a nice-sized bathtub somewhere! Next time somebody puts the right amount up, I’m headed to Vegas!”
So no, and when you look at her closer during her performance, you can see that the added hippage is simply the result of that mom-of-two thing that she’s got going on, and not the cartoonish, Kardashian/Jenner effects of rump surgery.
She was up on that stage looking like a sexy stuffed sausage.
And thank God for it.
And for the people that somehow think Mariah fucked up on New Year’s Eve, y’all really don’t get it, do you?
Exactly who’s next performance will be the thing that literally everyone’s talking about?